Who Played on the Piano Captain Dobbin Bought
Our surprised story now finds itself for a moment among very famous events and personages,
and hanging on to the skirts of history.
When the eagles of Napoleon Bonaparte,
the Corsican upstart,
were flying from Provence,
where they had perched after a brief sojourn in Elba,
and from steeple to steeple until they reached the towers of Notre Dame,
I wonder whether the Imperial birds had any eye for a little corner of the parish of Bloomsbury,
which you might have thought so quiet,
that even the whirring and flapping of those mighty wings would pass unobserved there?
"Napoleon has landed at Cannes."
Such news might create a panic at Vienna,
and cause Russia to drop his cards,
and take Prussia into a corner,
and Talleyrand and Metternich to wag their heads together,
while Prince Hardenberg,
and even the present Marquis of Londonderry,
but how was this intelligence to affect a young lady in Russell Square,
before whose door the watchman sang the hours when she was asleep: who,
if she strolled in the square,
was guarded there by the railings and the beadle: who,
if she walked ever so short a distance to buy a ribbon in Southampton Row,
was followed by Black Sambo with an enormous cane: who was always cared for,
put to bed,
and watched over by ever so many guardian angels,
with and without wages?
is it not hard that the fateful rush of the great Imperial struggle can't take place without affecting a poor little harmless girl of eighteen,
who is occupied in billing and cooing,
or working muslin collars in Russell Square?
--is the great roaring war tempest coming to sweep you down,
although cowering under the shelter of Holborn?
Napoleon is flinging his last stake,
and poor little Emmy Sedley's happiness forms,
part of it.
In the first place,
her father's fortune was swept down with that fatal news.
All his speculations had of late gone wrong with the luckless old gentleman.
Ventures had failed;
merchants had broken;
funds had risen when he calculated they would fall.
What need to particularize?
If success is rare and slow,
everybody knows how quick and easy ruin is.
Old Sedley had kept his own sad counsel.
Everything seemed to go on as usual in the quiet,
the good-natured mistress pursuing,
her bustling idleness,
and daily easy avocations;
the daughter absorbed still in one selfish,
and quite regardless of all the world besides,
when that final crash came,
under which the worthy family fell.
One night Mrs. Sedley was writing cards for a party;
the Osbornes had given one,
and she must not be behindhand;
who had come home very late from the City,
sate silent at the chimney side,
while his wife was prattling to him;
Emmy had gone up to her room ailing and low-spirited.
"She's not happy,"
the mother went on.
"George Osborne neglects her.
I've no patience with the airs of those people.
The girls have not been in the house these three weeks;
and George has been twice in town without coming.
Edward Dale saw him at the Opera.
Edward would marry her I'm sure: and there's Captain Dobbin who,
would --only I hate all army men.
Such a dandy as George has become.
With his military airs,
We must show some folks that we're as good as they.
Only give Edward Dale any encouragement,
and you'll see.
We must have a party,
Mr. S. Why don't you speak,
Shall I say Tuesday fortnight?
Why don't you answer?
what has happened?"
John Sedley sprang up out of his chair to meet his wife,
who ran to him.
He seized her in his arms,
and said with a hasty voice,
We've got the world to begin over again,
It's best that you should know all,
and at once."
As he spoke,
he trembled in every limb,
and almost fell.
He thought the news would have overpowered his wife --his wife,
to whom he had never said a hard word.
But it was he that was the most moved,
sudden as the shock was to her.
When he sank back into his seat,
it was the wife that took the office of consoler.
She took his trembling hand,
and kissed it,
and put it round her neck: she called him her John --her dear John --her old man --her kind old man;
she poured out a hundred words of incoherent love and tenderness;
her faithful voice and simple caresses wrought this sad heart up to an inexpressible delight and anguish,
and cheered and solaced his over-burdened soul.
Only once in the course of the long night as they sate together,
and poor Sedley opened his pent-up soul,
and told the story of his losses and embarrassments --the treason of some of his oldest friends,
the manly kindness of some,
from whom he never could have expected it --in a general confession --only once did the faithful wife give way to emotion.
it will break Emmy's heart,"
The father had forgotten the poor girl.
She was lying,
awake and unhappy,
In the midst of friends,
and kind parents,
she was alone.
To how many people can any one tell all?
Who will be open where there is no sympathy,
or has call to speak to those who never can understand?
Our gentle Amelia was thus solitary.
She had no confidante,
so to speak,
ever since she had anything to confide.
She could not tell the old mother her doubts and cares;
the would-be sisters seemed every day more strange to her.
And she had misgivings and fears which she dared not acknowledge to herself,
though she was always secretly brooding over them.
Her heart tried to persist in asserting that George Osborne was worthy and faithful to her,
though she knew otherwise.
How many a thing had she said,
and got no echo from him.
How many suspicions of selfishness and indifference had she to encounter and obstinately overcome.
To whom could the poor little martyr tell these daily struggles and tortures?
Her hero himself only half understood her.
She did not dare to own that the man she loved was her inferior;
or to feel that she had given her heart away too soon.
the pure bashful maiden was too modest,
too much woman to recall it.
We are Turks with the affections of our women;
and have made them subscribe to our doctrine too.
We let their bodies go abroad liberally enough,
with smiles and ringlets and pink bonnets to disguise them instead of veils and yakmaks.
But their souls must be seen by only one man,
and they obey not unwillingly,
and consent to remain at home as our slaves --ministering to us and doing drudgery for us.
So imprisoned and tortured was this gentle little heart,
when in the month of March,
Anno Domini 1815,
Napoleon landed at Cannes,
and Louis XVIII fled,
and all Europe was in alarm,
and the funds fell,
and old John Sedley was ruined.
We are not going to follow the worthy old stockbroker through those last pangs and agonies of ruin through which he passed before his commercial demise befell.
They declared him at the Stock Exchange;
he was absent from his house of business: his bills were protested: his act of bankruptcy formal.
The house and furniture of Russell Square were seized and sold up,
and he and his family were thrust away,
as we have seen,
to hide their heads where they might.
John Sedley had not the heart to review the domestic establishment who have appeared now and anon in our pages and of whom he was now forced by poverty to take leave.
The wages of those worthy people were discharged with that punctuality which men frequently show who only owe in great sums --they were sorry to leave good places --but they did not break their hearts at parting from their adored master and mistress.
Amelia's maid was profuse in condolences,
but went off quite resigned to better herself in a genteeler quarter of the town.
with the infatuation of his profession,
determined on setting up a public-house.
Honest old Mrs. Blenkinsop indeed,
who had seen the birth of Jos and Amelia,
and the wooing of John Sedley and his wife,
was for staying by them without wages,
having amassed a considerable sum in their service: and she accompanied the fallen people into their new and humble place of refuge,
where she tended them and grumbled against them for a while.
Of all Sedley's opponents in his debates with his creditors which now ensued,
and harassed the feelings of the humiliated old gentleman so severely,
that in six weeks he oldened more than he had done for fifteen years before --the most determined and obstinate seemed to be John Osborne,
his old friend and neighbour --John Osborne,
whom he had set up in life --who was under a hundred obligations to him --and whose son was to marry Sedley's daughter.
Any one of these circumstances would account for the bitterness of Osborne's opposition.
When one man has been under very remarkable obligations to another,
with whom he subsequently quarrels,
a common sense of decency,
as it were,
makes of the former a much severer enemy than a mere stranger would be.
To account for your own hard-heartedness and ingratitude in such a case,
you are bound to prove the other party's crime.
It is not that you are selfish,
and angry at the failure of a speculation --no,
no --it is that your partner has led you into it by the basest treachery and with the most sinister motives.
From a mere sense of consistency,
a persecutor is bound to show that the fallen man is a villain --otherwise he,
is a wretch himself.
And as a general rule,
which may make all creditors who are inclined to be severe pretty comfortable in their minds,
no men embarrassed are altogether honest,
They conceal something;
they exaggerate chances of good luck;
hide away the real state of affairs;
say that things are flourishing when they are hopeless,
keep a smiling face (a dreary smile it is) upon the verge of bankruptcy --are ready to lay hold of any pretext for delay or of any money,
so as to stave off the inevitable ruin a few days longer.
"Down with such dishonesty,"
says the creditor in triumph,
and reviles his sinking enemy.
why do you catch at a straw?"
calm good sense says to the man that is drowning.
why do you shrink from plunging into the irretrievable Gazette?"
says prosperity to the poor devil battling in that black gulf.
Who has not remarked the readiness with which the closest of friends and honestest of men suspect and accuse each other of cheating when they fall out on money matters?
Everybody does it.
Everybody is right,
and the world is a rogue.
Then Osborne had the intolerable sense of former benefits to goad and irritate him: these are always a cause of hostility aggravated.
he had to break off the match between Sedley's daughter and his son;
and as it had gone very far indeed,
and as the poor girl's happiness and perhaps character were compromised,
it was necessary to show the strongest reasons for the rupture,
and for John Osborne to prove John Sedley to be a very bad character indeed.
At the meetings of creditors,
he comported himself with a savageness and scorn towards Sedley,
which almost succeeded in breaking the heart of that ruined bankrupt man.
On George's intercourse with Amelia he put an instant veto --menacing the youth with maledictions if he broke his commands,
and vilipending the poor innocent girl as the basest and most artful of vixens.
One of the great conditions of anger and hatred is,
that you must tell and believe lies against the hated object,
as we said,
to be consistent.
When the great crash came --the announcement of ruin,
and the departure from Russell Square,
and the declaration that all was over between her and George --all over between her and love,
her and happiness,
her and faith in the world --a brutal letter from John Osborne told her in a few curt lines that her father's conduct had been of such a nature that all engagements between the families were at an end --when the final award came,
it did not shock her so much as her parents,
as her mother rather expected (for John Sedley himself was entirely prostrate in the ruins of his own affairs and shattered honour).
Amelia took the news very palely and calmly.
It was only the confirmation of the dark presages which had long gone before.
It was the mere reading of the sentence --of the crime she had long ago been guilty --the crime of loving wrongly,
She told no more of her thoughts now than she had before.
She seemed scarcely more unhappy now when convinced all hope was over,
than before when she felt but dared not confess that it was gone.
So she changed from the large house to the small one without any mark or difference;
remained in her little room for the most part;
and died away day by day.
I do not mean to say that all females are so.
My dear Miss Bullock,
I do not think your heart would break in this way.
You are a strong-minded young woman with proper principles.
I do not venture to say that mine would;
it has suffered,
it must be confessed,
But there are some souls thus gently constituted,
Whenever old John Sedley thought of the affair between George and Amelia,
or alluded to it,
it was with bitterness almost as great as Mr. Osborne himself had shown.
He cursed Osborne and his family as heartless,
No power on earth,
would induce him to marry his daughter to the son of such a villain,
and he ordered Emmy to banish George from her mind,
and to return all the presents and letters which she had ever had from him.
She promised acquiescence,
and tried to obey.
She put up the two or three trinkets: and,
as for the letters,
she drew them out of the place where she kept them;
and read them over --as if she did not know them by heart already: but she could not part with them.
That effort was too much for her;
she placed them back in her bosom again --as you have seen a woman nurse a child that is dead.
Young Amelia felt that she would die or lose her senses outright,
if torn away from this last consolation.
How she used to blush and lighten up when those letters came!
How she used to trip away with a beating heart,
so that she might read unseen!
If they were cold,
yet how perversely this fond little soul interpreted them into warmth.
If they were short or selfish,
what excuses she found for the writer!
It was over these few worthless papers that she brooded and brooded.
She lived in her past life --every letter seemed to recall some circumstance of it.
How well she remembered them all!
His looks and tones,
what he said and how --these relics and remembrances of dead affection were all that were left her in the world.
And the business of her life,
was --to watch the corpse of Love.
To death she looked with inexpressible longing.
I shall always be able to follow him.
I am not praising her conduct or setting her up as a model for Miss Bullock to imitate.
Miss B. knows how to regulate her feelings better than this poor little creature.
Miss B. would never have committed herself as that imprudent Amelia had done;
pledged her love irretrievably;
confessed her heart away,
and got back nothing --only a brittle promise which was snapt and worthless in a moment.
A long engagement is a partnership which one party is free to keep or to break,
but which involves all the capital of the other.
Be cautious then,
be wary how you engage.
Be shy of loving frankly;
never tell all you feel,
or (a better way still),
feel very little.
See the consequences of being prematurely honest and confiding,
and mistrust yourselves and everybody.
Get yourselves married as they do in France,
where the lawyers are the bridesmaids and confidantes.
At any rate,
never have any feelings which may make you uncomfortable,
or make any promises which you cannot at any required moment command and withdraw.
That is the way to get on,
and be respected,
and have a virtuous character in Vanity Fair.
If Amelia could have heard the comments regarding her which were made in the circle from which her father's ruin had just driven her,
she would have seen what her own crimes were,
and how entirely her character was jeopardised.
Such criminal imprudence Mrs. Smith never knew of;
such horrid familiarities Mrs. Brown had always condemned,
and the end might be a warning to HER daughters.
could not marry a bankrupt's daughter,"
the Misses Dobbin said.
"It was quite enough to have been swindled by the father.
As for that little Amelia,
her folly had really passed all --"
Captain Dobbin roared out.
"Haven't they been engaged ever since they were children?
Wasn't it as good as a marriage?
Dare any soul on earth breathe a word against the sweetest,
the most angelical of young women?"
don't be so highty-tighty with US.
We're not men.
We can't fight you,"
Miss Jane said.
"We've said nothing against Miss Sedley: but that her conduct throughout was MOST IMPRUDENT,
not to call it by any worse name;
and that her parents are people who certainly merit their misfortunes."
"Hadn't you better,
now that Miss Sedley is free,
propose for her yourself,
Miss Ann asked sarcastically.
"It would be a most eligible family connection.
"I marry her!"
blushing very much,
and talking quick.
"If you are so ready,
to chop and change,
do you suppose that she is?
Laugh and sneer at that angel.
She can't hear it;
and she's miserable and unfortunate,
and deserves to be laughed at.
Go on joking,
You're the wit of the family,
and the others like to hear it."
"I must tell you again we're not in a barrack,
Miss Ann remarked.
"In a barrack,
by Jove --I wish anybody in a barrack would say what you do,"
cried out this uproused British lion.
"I should like to hear a man breathe a word against her,
But men don't talk in this way,
Ann: it's only women,
who get together and hiss,
get away --don't begin to cry.
I only said you were a couple of geese,"
Will Dobbin said,
perceiving Miss Ann's pink eyes were beginning to moisten as usual.
you're not geese,
you're swans --anything you like,
do leave Miss Sedley alone."
Anything like William's infatuation about that silly little flirting,
ogling thing was never known,
the mamma and sisters agreed together in thinking: and they trembled lest,
her engagement being off with Osborne,
she should take up immediately her other admirer and Captain.
In which forebodings these worthy young women no doubt judged according to the best of their experience;
or rather (for as yet they had had no opportunities of marrying or of jilting) according to their own notions of right and wrong.
"It is a mercy,
that the regiment is ordered abroad,"
the girls said.
at any rate,
is spared our brother."
was the fact;
and so it is that the French Emperor comes in to perform a part in this domestic comedy of Vanity Fair which we are now playing,
and which would never have been enacted without the intervention of this august mute personage.
It was he that ruined the Bourbons and Mr. John Sedley.
It was he whose arrival in his capital called up all France in arms to defend him there;
and all Europe to oust him.
While the French nation and army were swearing fidelity round the eagles in the Champ de Mars,
four mighty European hosts were getting in motion for the great chasse a l'aigle;
and one of these was a British army,
of which two heroes of ours,
Captain Dobbin and Captain Osborne,
formed a portion.
The news of Napoleon's escape and landing was received by the gallant --th with a fiery delight and enthusiasm,
which everybody can understand who knows that famous corps.
From the colonel to the smallest drummer in the regiment,
all were filled with hope and ambition and patriotic fury;
and thanked the French Emperor as for a personal kindness in coming to disturb the peace of Europe.
Now was the time the --th had so long panted for,
to show their comrades in arms that they could fight as well as the Peninsular veterans,
and that all the pluck and valour of the --th had not been killed by the West Indies and the yellow fever.
Stubble and Spooney looked to get their companies without purchase.
Before the end of the campaign (which she resolved to share),
Mrs. Major O'Dowd hoped to write herself Mrs. Colonel O'Dowd,
Our two friends (Dobbin and Osborne) were quite as much excited as the rest: and each in his way --Mr. Dobbin very quietly,
Mr. Osborne very loudly and energetically --was bent upon doing his duty,
and gaining his share of honour and distinction.
The agitation thrilling through the country and army in consequence of this news was so great,
that private matters were little heeded: and hence probably George Osborne,
just gazetted to his company,
busy with preparations for the march,
which must come inevitably,
and panting for further promotion --was not so much affected by other incidents which would have interested him at a more quiet period.
He was not,
it must be confessed,
very much cast down by good old Mr. Sedley's catastrophe.
He tried his new uniform,
which became him very handsomely,
on the day when the first meeting of the creditors of the unfortunate gentleman took place.
His father told him of the wicked,
shameful conduct of the bankrupt,
reminded him of what he had said about Amelia,
and that their connection was broken off for ever;
and gave him that evening a good sum of money to pay for the new clothes and epaulets in which he looked so well.
Money was always useful to this free-handed young fellow,
and he took it without many words.
The bills were up in the Sedley house,
where he had passed so many,
many happy hours.
He could see them as he walked from home that night (to the Old Slaughters',
where he put up when in town) shining white in the moon.
That comfortable home was shut,
upon Amelia and her parents: where had they taken refuge?
The thought of their ruin affected him not a little.
He was very melancholy that night in the coffee-room at the Slaughters';
and drank a good deal,
as his comrades remarked there.
Dobbin came in presently,
cautioned him about the drink,
which he only took,
because he was deuced low;
but when his friend began to put to him clumsy inquiries,
and asked him for news in a significant manner,
Osborne declined entering into conversation with him,
that he was devilish disturbed and unhappy.
Three days afterwards,
Dobbin found Osborne in his room at the barracks --his head on the table,
a number of papers about,
the young Captain evidently in a state of great despondency.
"She --she's sent me back some things I gave her --some damned trinkets.
There was a little packet directed in the well-known hand to Captain George Osborne,
and some things lying about --a ring,
a silver knife he had bought,
as a boy,
for her at a fair;
a gold chain,
and a locket with hair in it.
"It's all over,"
with a groan of sickening remorse.
you may read it if you like."
There was a little letter of a few lines,
to which he pointed,
My papa has ordered me to return to you these presents,
which you made in happier days to me;
and I am to write to you for the last time.
I know you feel as much as I do the blow which has come upon us.
It is I that absolve you from an engagement which is impossible in our present misery.
I am sure you had no share in it,
or in the cruel suspicions of Mr. Osborne,
which are the hardest of all our griefs to bear.
I pray God to strengthen me to bear this and other calamities,
and to bless you always.
A. I shall often play upon the piano --your piano.
It was like you to send it.
Dobbin was very soft-hearted.
The sight of women and children in pain always used to melt him.
The idea of Amelia broken-hearted and lonely tore that good-natured soul with anguish.
And he broke out into an emotion,
which anybody who likes may consider unmanly.
He swore that Amelia was an angel,
to which Osborne said aye with all his heart.
had been reviewing the history of their lives --and had seen her from her childhood to her present age,
so charmingly simple,
and artlessly fond and tender.
What a pang it was to lose all that: to have had it and not prized it!
A thousand homely scenes and recollections crowded on him --in which he always saw her good and beautiful.
And for himself,
he blushed with remorse and shame,
as the remembrance of his own selfishness and indifference contrasted with that perfect purity.
For a while,
everything was forgotten,
and the pair of friends talked about her only.
"Where are they?"
after a long talk,
and a long pause --and,
with no little shame at thinking that he had taken no steps to follow her.
"Where are they?
There's no address to the note."
He had not merely sent the piano;
but had written a note to Mrs. Sedley,
and asked permission to come and see her --and he had seen her,
and Amelia too,
before he came down to Chatham;
what is more,
he had brought that farewell letter and packet which had so moved them.
The good-natured fellow had found Mrs. Sedley only too willing to receive him,
and greatly agitated by the arrival of the piano,
as she conjectured,
MUST have come from George,
and was a signal of amity on his part.
Captain Dobbin did not correct this error of the worthy lady,
but listened to all her story of complaints and misfortunes with great sympathy --condoled with her losses and privations,
and agreed in reprehending the cruel conduct of Mr. Osborne towards his first benefactor.
When she had eased her overflowing bosom somewhat,
and poured forth many of her sorrows,
he had the courage to ask actually to see Amelia,
who was above in her room as usual,
and whom her mother led trembling downstairs.
Her appearance was so ghastly,
and her look of despair so pathetic,
that honest William Dobbin was frightened as he beheld it;
and read the most fatal forebodings in that pale fixed face.
After sitting in his company a minute or two,
she put the packet into his hand,
"Take this to Captain Osborne,
if you please,
and --and I hope he's quite well --and it was very kind of you to come and see us --and we like our new house very much.
And I --I think I'll go upstairs,
for I'm not very strong."
And with this,
and a curtsey and a smile,
the poor child went her way.
as she led her up,
cast back looks of anguish towards Dobbin.
The good fellow wanted no such appeal.
He loved her himself too fondly for that.
and terror pursued him,
and he came away as if he was a criminal after seeing her.
When Osborne heard that his friend had found her,
he made hot and anxious inquiries regarding the poor child.
How was she?
How did she look?
What did she say?
His comrade took his hand,
and looked him in the face.
William Dobbin said --and could speak no more.
There was a buxom Irish servant-girl,
who performed all the duties of the little house where the Sedley family had found refuge: and this girl had in vain,
on many previous days,
striven to give Amelia aid or consolation.
Emmy was much too sad to answer,
or even to be aware of the attempts the other was making in her favour.
Four hours after the talk between Dobbin and Osborne,
this servant-maid came into Amelia's room,
where she sate as usual,
brooding silently over her letters --her little treasures.
and looking arch and happy,
made many trials to attract poor Emmy's attention,
took no heed of her.
said the girl.
not looking round.
"There's a message,"
the maid went on.
"There's something --somebody --sure,
here's a new letter for you --don't be reading them old ones any more."
And she gave her a letter,
which Emmy took,
"I must see you,"
the letter said.
"Dearest Emmy --dearest love --dearest wife,
come to me."
George and her mother were outside,
waiting until she had read the letter.
Miss Crawley at Nurse
We have seen how Mrs. Firkin,
the lady's maid,
as soon as any event of importance to the Crawley family came to her knowledge,
felt bound to communicate it to Mrs. Bute Crawley,
at the Rectory;
and have before mentioned how particularly kind and attentive that good-natured lady was to Miss Crawley's confidential servant.
She had been a gracious friend to Miss Briggs,
and had secured the latter's good-will by a number of those attentions and promises,
which cost so little in the making,
and are yet so valuable and agreeable to the recipient.
Indeed every good economist and manager of a household must know how cheap and yet how amiable these professions are,
and what a flavour they give to the most homely dish in life.
Who was the blundering idiot who said that "fine words butter no parsnips"?
Half the parsnips of society are served and rendered palatable with no other sauce.
As the immortal Alexis Soyer can make more delicious soup for a half-penny than an ignorant cook can concoct with pounds of vegetables and meat,
so a skilful artist will make a few simple and pleasing phrases go farther than ever so much substantial benefit-stock in the hands of a mere bungler.
we know that substantial benefits often sicken some stomachs;
most will digest any amount of fine words,
and be always eager for more of the same food.
Mrs. Bute had told Briggs and Firkin so often of the depth of her affection for them;
and what she would do,
if she had Miss Crawley's fortune,
for friends so excellent and attached,
that the ladies in question had the deepest regard for her;
and felt as much gratitude and confidence as if Mrs. Bute had loaded them with the most expensive favours.
on the other hand,
like a selfish heavy dragoon as he was,
never took the least trouble to conciliate his aunt's aides-de-camp,
showed his contempt for the pair with entire frankness --made Firkin pull off his boots on one occasion --sent her out in the rain on ignominious messages --and if he gave her a guinea,
flung it to her as if it were a box on the ear.
As his aunt,
made a butt of Briggs,
the Captain followed the example,
and levelled his jokes at her --jokes about as delicate as a kick from his charger.
Mrs. Bute consulted her in matters of taste or difficulty,
admired her poetry,
and by a thousand acts of kindness and politeness,
showed her appreciation of Briggs;
and if she made Firkin a twopenny-halfpenny present,
accompanied it with so many compliments,
that the twopence-half-penny was transmuted into gold in the heart of the grateful waiting-maid,
was looking forwards quite contentedly to some prodigious benefit which must happen to her on the day when Mrs. Bute came into her fortune.
The different conduct of these two people is pointed out respectfully to the attention of persons commencing the world.
I say to such: never be squeamish,
but speak out your compliment both point-blank in a man's face,
and behind his back,
when you know there is a reasonable chance of his hearing it again.
Never lose a chance of saying a kind word.
As Collingwood never saw a vacant place in his estate but he took an acorn out of his pocket and popped it in;
so deal with your compliments through life.
An acorn costs nothing;
but it may sprout into a prodigious bit of timber.
In a word,
during Rawdon Crawley's prosperity,
he was only obeyed with sulky acquiescence;
when his disgrace came,
there was nobody to help or pity him.
when Mrs. Bute took the command at Miss Crawley's house,
the garrison there were charmed to act under such a leader,
expecting all sorts of promotion from her promises,
and her kind words.
That he would consider himself beaten,
after one defeat,
and make no attempt to regain the position he had lost,
Mrs. Bute Crawley never allowed herself to suppose.
She knew Rebecca to be too clever and spirited and desperate a woman to submit without a struggle;
and felt that she must prepare for that combat,
and be incessantly watchful against assault;
In the first place,
though she held the town,
was she sure of the principal inhabitant?
Would Miss Crawley herself hold out;
and had she not a secret longing to welcome back the ousted adversary?
The old lady liked Rawdon,
who amused her.
Mrs. Bute could not disguise from herself the fact that none of her party could so contribute to the pleasures of the town-bred lady.
"My girls' singing,
after that little odious governess's,
I know is unbearable,"
the candid Rector's wife owned to herself.
"She always used to go to sleep when Martha and Louisa played their duets.
Jim's stiff college manners and poor dear Bute's talk about his dogs and horses always annoyed her.
If I took her to the Rectory,
she would grow angry with us all,
I know she would;
and might fall into that horrid Rawdon's clutches again,
and be the victim of that little viper of a Sharp.
it is clear to me that she is exceedingly unwell,
and cannot move for some weeks,
at any rate;
during which we must think of some plan to protect her from the arts of those unprincipled people."
In the very best of moments,
if anybody told Miss Crawley that she was,
or looked ill,
the trembling old lady sent off for her doctor;
and I daresay she was very unwell after the sudden family event,
which might serve to shake stronger nerves than hers.
Mrs. Bute thought it was her duty to inform the physician,
and the apothecary,
and the dame-de-compagnie,
and the domestics,
that Miss Crawley was in a most critical state,
and that they were to act accordingly.
She had the street laid knee-deep with straw;
and the knocker put by with Mr. Bowls's plate.
She insisted that the Doctor should call twice a day;
and deluged her patient with draughts every two hours.
When anybody entered the room,
she uttered a shshshsh so sibilant and ominous,
that it frightened the poor old lady in her bed,
from which she could not look without seeing Mrs. Bute's beady eyes eagerly fixed on her,
as the latter sate steadfast in the arm-chair by the bedside.
They seemed to lighten in the dark (for she kept the curtains closed) as she moved about the room on velvet paws like a cat.
There Miss Crawley lay for days --ever so many days --Mr. Bute reading books of devotion to her: for nights,
during which she had to hear the watchman sing,
the night-light sputter;
visited at midnight,
the last thing,
by the stealthy apothecary;
and then left to look at Mrs. Bute's twinkling eyes,
or the flicks of yellow that the rushlight threw on the dreary darkened ceiling.
Hygeia herself would have fallen sick under such a regimen;
and how much more this poor old nervous victim?
It has been said that when she was in health and good spirits,
this venerable inhabitant of Vanity Fair had as free notions about religion and morals as Monsieur de Voltaire himself could desire,
but when illness overtook her,
it was aggravated by the most dreadful terrors of death,
and an utter cowardice took possession of the prostrate old sinner.
Sick-bed homilies and pious reflections are,
to be sure,
out of place in mere story-books,
and we are not going (after the fashion of some novelists of the present day) to cajole the public into a sermon,
when it is only a comedy that the reader pays his money to witness.
the truth may surely be borne in mind,
that the bustle,
and gaiety which Vanity Fair exhibits in public,
do not always pursue the performer into private life,
and that the most dreary depression of spirits and dismal repentances sometimes overcome him.
Recollection of the best ordained banquets will scarcely cheer sick epicures.
Reminiscences of the most becoming dresses and brilliant ball triumphs will go very little way to console faded beauties.
at a particular period of existence,
are not much gratified at thinking over the most triumphant divisions;
and the success or the pleasure of yesterday becomes of very small account when a certain (albeit uncertain) morrow is in view,
about which all of us must some day or other be speculating.
O brother wearers of motley!
Are there not moments when one grows sick of grinning and tumbling,
and the jingling of cap and bells?
dear friends and companions,
is my amiable object --to walk with you through the Fair,
to examine the shops and the shows there;
and that we should all come home after the flare,
and the noise,
and the gaiety,
and be perfectly miserable in private.
"If that poor man of mine had a head on his shoulders,"
Mrs. Bute Crawley thought to herself,
"how useful he might be,
under present circumstances,
to this unhappy old lady!
He might make her repent of her shocking free-thinking ways;
he might urge her to do her duty,
and cast off that odious reprobate who has disgraced himself and his family;
and he might induce her to do justice to my dear girls and the two boys,
who require and deserve,
I am sure,
every assistance which their relatives can give them."
as the hatred of vice is always a progress towards virtue,
Mrs. Bute Crawley endeavoured to instil her sister-in-law a proper abhorrence for all Rawdon Crawley's manifold sins: of which his uncle's wife brought forward such a catalogue as indeed would have served to condemn a whole regiment of young officers.
If a man has committed wrong in life,
I don't know any moralist more anxious to point his errors out to the world than his own relations;
so Mrs. Bute showed a perfect family interest and knowledge of Rawdon's history.
She had all the particulars of that ugly quarrel with Captain Marker,
in which Rawdon,
wrong from the beginning,
ended in shooting the Captain.
She knew how the unhappy Lord Dovedale,
whose mamma had taken a house at Oxford,
so that he might be educated there,
and who had never touched a card in his life till he came to London,
was perverted by Rawdon at the Cocoa-Tree,
made helplessly tipsy by this abominable seducer and perverter of youth,
and fleeced of four thousand pounds.
She described with the most vivid minuteness the agonies of the country families whom he had ruined --the sons whom he had plunged into dishonour and poverty --the daughters whom he had inveigled into perdition.
She knew the poor tradesmen who were bankrupt by his extravagance --the mean shifts and rogueries with which he had ministered to it --the astounding falsehoods by which he had imposed upon the most generous of aunts,
and the ingratitude and ridicule by which he had repaid her sacrifices.
She imparted these stories gradually to Miss Crawley;
gave her the whole benefit of them;
felt it to be her bounden duty as a Christian woman and mother of a family to do so;
had not the smallest remorse or compunction for the victim whom her tongue was immolating;
very likely thought her act was quite meritorious,
and plumed herself upon her resolute manner of performing it.
if a man's character is to be abused,
say what you will,
there's nobody like a relation to do the business.
And one is bound to own,
regarding this unfortunate wretch of a Rawdon Crawley,
that the mere truth was enough to condemn him,
and that all inventions of scandal were quite superfluous pains on his friends' parts.
being now a relative,
came in for the fullest share of Mrs. Bute's kind inquiries.
This indefatigable pursuer of truth (having given strict orders that the door was to be denied to all emissaries or letters from Rawdon),
took Miss Crawley's carriage,
and drove to her old friend Miss Pinkerton,
at Minerva House,
to whom she announced the dreadful intelligence of Captain Rawdon's seduction by Miss Sharp,
and from whom she got sundry strange particulars regarding the ex-governess's birth and early history.
The friend of the Lexicographer had plenty of information to give.
Miss Jemima was made to fetch the drawing-master's receipts and letters.
This one was from a spunging-house: that entreated an advance: another was full of gratitude for Rebecca's reception by the ladies of Chiswick: and the last document from the unlucky artist's pen was that in which,
from his dying bed,
he recommended his orphan child to Miss Pinkerton's protection.
There were juvenile letters and petitions from Rebecca,
in the collection,
imploring aid for her father or declaring her own gratitude.
Perhaps in Vanity Fair there are no better satires than letters.
Take a bundle of your dear friend's of ten years back --your dear friend whom you hate now.
Look at a file of your sister's!
how you clung to each other till you quarrelled about the twenty-pound legacy!
Get down the round-hand scrawls of your son who has half broken your heart with selfish undutifulness since;
or a parcel of your own,
breathing endless ardour and love eternal,
which were sent back by your mistress when she married the Nabob --your mistress for whom you now care no more than for Queen Elizabeth.
how queerly they read after a while!
There ought to be a law in Vanity Fair ordering the destruction of every written document (except receipted tradesmen's bills) after a certain brief and proper interval.
Those quacks and misanthropes who advertise indelible Japan ink should be made to perish along with their wicked discoveries.
The best ink for Vanity Fair use would be one that faded utterly in a couple of days,
and left the paper clean and blank,
so that you might write on it to somebody else.
From Miss Pinkerton's the indefatigable Mrs. Bute followed the track of Sharp and his daughter back to the lodgings in Greek Street,
which the defunct painter had occupied;
and where portraits of the landlady in white satin,
and of the husband in brass buttons,
done by Sharp in lieu of a quarter's rent,
still decorated the parlour walls.
Mrs. Stokes was a communicative person,
and quickly told all she knew about Mr. Sharp;
how dissolute and poor he was;
how good-natured and amusing;
how he was always hunted by bailiffs and duns;
to the landlady's horror,
though she never could abide the woman,
he did not marry his wife till a short time before her death;
and what a queer little wild vixen his daughter was;
how she kept them all laughing with her fun and mimicry;
how she used to fetch the gin from the public-house,
and was known in all the studios in the quarter --in brief,
Mrs. Bute got such a full account of her new niece's parentage,
and behaviour as would scarcely have pleased Rebecca,
had the latter known that such inquiries were being made concerning her.
Of all these industrious researches Miss Crawley had the full benefit.
Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was the daughter of an opera-girl.
She had danced herself.
She had been a model to the painters.
She was brought up as became her mother's daughter.
She drank gin with her father,
It was a lost woman who was married to a lost man;
and the moral to be inferred from Mrs. Bute's tale was,
that the knavery of the pair was irremediable,
and that no properly conducted person should ever notice them again.
These were the materials which prudent Mrs. Bute gathered together in Park Lane,
the provisions and ammunition as it were with which she fortified the house against the siege which she knew that Rawdon and his wife would lay to Miss Crawley.
But if a fault may be found with her arrangements,
it is this,
that she was too eager: she managed rather too well;
undoubtedly she made Miss Crawley more ill than was necessary;
and though the old invalid succumbed to her authority,
it was so harassing and severe,
that the victim would be inclined to escape at the very first chance which fell in her way.
the ornaments of their sex --women who order everything for everybody,
and know so much better than any person concerned what is good for their neighbours,
don't sometimes speculate upon the possibility of a domestic revolt,
or upon other extreme consequences resulting from their overstrained authority.
with the best intentions no doubt in the world,
and wearing herself to death as she did by foregoing sleep,
for the sake of her invalid sister-in-law,
carried her conviction of the old lady's illness so far that she almost managed her into her coffin.
She pointed out her sacrifices and their results one day to the constant apothecary,
"I am sure,
my dear Mr. Clump,"
"no efforts of mine have been wanting to restore our dear invalid,
whom the ingratitude of her nephew has laid on the bed of sickness.
I never shrink from personal discomfort: I never refuse to sacrifice myself."
it must be confessed,
Mr. Clump says,
with a low bow;
"I have scarcely closed my eyes since my arrival: I give up sleep,
to my sense of duty.
When my poor James was in the smallpox,
did I allow any hireling to nurse him?
"You did what became an excellent mother,
my dear Madam --the best of mothers;
"As the mother of a family and the wife of an English clergyman,
I humbly trust that my principles are good,"
Mrs. Bute said,
with a happy solemnity of conviction;
as long as Nature supports me,
will I desert the post of duty.
Others may bring that grey head with sorrow to the bed of sickness (here Mrs. Bute,
waving her hand,
pointed to one of old Miss Crawley's coffee-coloured fronts,
which was perched on a stand in the dressing-room),
but I will never quit it.
that the couch needs spiritual as well as medical consolation."
"What I was going to observe,
my dear Madam,"
--here the resolute Clump once more interposed with a bland air --"what I was going to observe when you gave utterance to sentiments which do you so much honour,
was that I think you alarm yourself needlessly about our kind friend,
and sacrifice your own health too prodigally in her favour."
"I would lay down my life for my duty,
or for any member of my husband's family,"
Mrs. Bute interposed.
if need were;
but we don't want Mrs Bute Crawley to be a martyr,"
Clump said gallantly.
"Dr Squills and myself have both considered Miss Crawley's case with every anxiety and care,
as you may suppose.
We see her low-spirited and nervous;
family events have agitated her."
"Her nephew will come to perdition,"
Mrs. Crawley cried.
"Have agitated her: and you arrived like a guardian angel,
my dear Madam,
a positive guardian angel,
I assure you,
to soothe her under the pressure of calamity.
But Dr. Squills and I were thinking that our amiable friend is not in such a state as renders confinement to her bed necessary.
She is depressed,
but this confinement perhaps adds to her depression.
She should have change,
the most delightful remedies in the pharmacopoeia,"
Mr. Clump said,
grinning and showing his handsome teeth.
"Persuade her to rise,
drag her from her couch and her low spirits;
insist upon her taking little drives.
They will restore the roses too to your cheeks,
if I may so speak to Mrs. Bute Crawley."
"The sight of her horrid nephew casually in the Park,
where I am told the wretch drives with the brazen partner of his crimes,"
Mrs. Bute said (letting the cat of selfishness out of the bag of secrecy),
"would cause her such a shock,
that we should have to bring her back to bed again.
She must not go out,
She shall not go out as long as I remain to watch over her;
And as for my health,
what matters it?
I give it cheerfully,
I sacrifice it at the altar of my duty."
"Upon my word,
Mr. Clump now said bluntly,
"I won't answer for her life if she remains locked up in that dark room.
She is so nervous that we may lose her any day;
and if you wish Captain Crawley to be her heir,
I warn you frankly,
that you are doing your very best to serve him."
is her life in danger?"
Mrs. Bute cried.
did you not inform me sooner?"
The night before,
Mr. Clump and Dr. Squills had had a consultation (over a bottle of wine at the house of Sir Lapin Warren,
whose lady was about to present him with a thirteenth blessing),
regarding Miss Crawley and her case.
"What a little harpy that woman from Hampshire is,
"that has seized upon old Tilly Crawley.
Devilish good Madeira."
"What a fool Rawdon Crawley has been,"
"to go and marry a governess!
There was something about the girl,
famous frontal development,"
"There is something about her;
and Crawley was a fool,
"A d -- -- fool --always was,"
the apothecary replied.
"Of course the old girl will fling him over,"
said the physician,
and after a pause added,
"She'll cut up well,
says Clump with a grin;
"I wouldn't have her cut up for two hundred a year."
"That Hampshire woman will kill her in two months,
if she stops about her,"
Dr. Squills said.
palpitation of the heart;
pressure on the brain;
off she goes.
Get her up,
get her out: or I wouldn't give many weeks' purchase for your two hundred a year."
And it was acting upon this hint that the worthy apothecary spoke with so much candour to Mrs. Bute Crawley.
Having the old lady under her hand: in bed: with nobody near,
Mrs. Bute had made more than one assault upon her,
to induce her to alter her will.
But Miss Crawley's usual terrors regarding death increased greatly when such dismal propositions were made to her,
and Mrs. Bute saw that she must get her patient into cheerful spirits and health before she could hope to attain the pious object which she had in view.
Whither to take her was the next puzzle.
The only place where she is not likely to meet those odious Rawdons is at church,
and that won't amuse her,
Mrs. Bute justly felt.
"We must go and visit our beautiful suburbs of London,"
she then thought.
"I hear they are the most picturesque in the world";
and so she had a sudden interest for Hampstead,
and found that Dulwich had great charms for her,
and getting her victim into her carriage,
drove her to those rustic spots,
beguiling the little journeys with conversations about Rawdon and his wife,
and telling every story to the old lady which could add to her indignation against this pair of reprobates.
Perhaps Mrs. Bute pulled the string unnecessarily tight.
For though she worked up Miss Crawley to a proper dislike of her disobedient nephew,
the invalid had a great hatred and secret terror of her victimizer,
and panted to escape from her.
After a brief space,
she rebelled against Highgate and Hornsey utterly.
She would go into the Park.
Mrs. Bute knew they would meet the abominable Rawdon there,
and she was right.
One day in the ring,
Rawdon's stanhope came in sight;
Rebecca was seated by him.
In the enemy's equipage Miss Crawley occupied her usual place,
with Mrs. Bute on her left,
the poodle and Miss Briggs on the back seat.
It was a nervous moment,
and Rebecca's heart beat quick as she recognized the carriage;
and as the two vehicles crossed each other in a line,
she clasped her hands,
and looked towards the spinster with a face of agonized attachment and devotion.
Rawdon himself trembled,
and his face grew purple behind his dyed mustachios.
Only old Briggs was moved in the other carriage,
and cast her great eyes nervously towards her old friends.
Miss Crawley's bonnet was resolutely turned towards the Serpentine.
Mrs. Bute happened to be in ecstasies with the poodle,
and was calling him a little darling,
and a sweet little zoggy,
and a pretty pet.
The carriages moved on,
each in his line.
Rawdon said to his wife.
"Try once more,
"Could not you lock your wheels into theirs,
Rawdon had not the heart for that manoeuvre.
When the carriages met again,
he stood up in his stanhope;
he raised his hand ready to doff his hat;
he looked with all his eyes.
But this time Miss Crawley's face was not turned away;
she and Mrs. Bute looked him full in the face,
and cut their nephew pitilessly.
He sank back in his seat with an oath,
and striking out of the ring,
dashed away desperately homewards.
It was a gallant and decided triumph for Mrs. Bute.
But she felt the danger of many such meetings,
as she saw the evident nervousness of Miss Crawley;
and she determined that it was most necessary for her dear friend's health,
that they should leave town for a while,
and recommended Brighton very strongly.
In Which Captain Dobbin Acts as the Messenger of Hymen
Without knowing how,
Captain William Dobbin found himself the great promoter,
and manager of the match between George Osborne and Amelia.
But for him it never would have taken place: he could not but confess as much to himself,
and smiled rather bitterly as he thought that he of all men in the world should be the person upon whom the care of this marriage had fallen.
But though indeed the conducting of this negotiation was about as painful a task as could be set to him,
yet when he had a duty to perform,
Captain Dobbin was accustomed to go through it without many words or much hesitation: and,
having made up his mind completely,
that if Miss Sedley was balked of her husband she would die of the disappointment,
he was determined to use all his best endeavours to keep her alive.
I forbear to enter into minute particulars of the interview between George and Amelia,
when the former was brought back to the feet (or should we venture to say the arms?) of his young mistress by the intervention of his friend honest William.
A much harder heart than George's would have melted at the sight of that sweet face so sadly ravaged by grief and despair,
and at the simple tender accents in which she told her little broken-hearted story: but as she did not faint when her mother,
brought Osborne to her;
and as she only gave relief to her overcharged grief,
by laying her head on her lover's shoulder and there weeping for a while the most tender,
and refreshing tears --old Mrs. Sedley,
too greatly relieved,
thought it was best to leave the young persons to themselves;
and so quitted Emmy crying over George's hand,
and kissing it humbly,
as if he were her supreme chief and master,
and as if she were quite a guilty and unworthy person needing every favour and grace from him.
This prostration and sweet unrepining obedience exquisitely touched and flattered George Osborne.
He saw a slave before him in that simple yielding faithful creature,
and his soul within him thrilled secretly somehow at the knowledge of his power.
He would be generous-minded,
Sultan as he was,
and raise up this kneeling Esther and make a queen of her: besides,
her sadness and beauty touched him as much as her submission,
and so he cheered her,
and raised her up and forgave her,
so to speak.
All her hopes and feelings,
which were dying and withering,
this her sun having been removed from her,
bloomed again and at once,
its light being restored.
You would scarcely have recognised the beaming little face upon Amelia's pillow that night as the one that was laid there the night before,
so careless of all round about.
The honest Irish maid-servant,
delighted with the change,
asked leave to kiss the face that had grown all of a sudden so rosy.
Amelia put her arms round the girl's neck and kissed her with all her heart,
like a child.
She was little more.
She had that night a sweet refreshing sleep,
like one --and what a spring of inexpressible happiness as she woke in the morning sunshine!
"He will be here again to-day,"
"He is the greatest and best of men."
And the fact is,
that George thought he was one of the generousest creatures alive: and that he was making a tremendous sacrifice in marrying this young creature.
While she and Osborne were having their delightful tete-a-tete above stairs,
old Mrs. Sedley and Captain Dobbin were conversing below upon the state of the affairs,
and the chances and future arrangements of the young people.
Mrs. Sedley having brought the two lovers together and left them embracing each other with all their might,
like a true woman,
was of opinion that no power on earth would induce Mr. Sedley to consent to the match between his daughter and the son of a man who had so shamefully,
and monstrously treated him.
And she told a long story about happier days and their earlier splendours,
when Osborne lived in a very humble way in the New Road,
and his wife was too glad to receive some of Jos's little baby things,
with which Mrs. Sedley accommodated her at the birth of one of Osborne's own children.
The fiendish ingratitude of that man,
she was sure,
had broken Mr. S.'s heart: and as for a marriage,
he would never,
"They must run away together,
"and follow the example of Captain Rawdon Crawley,
and Miss Emmy's friend the little governess."
Was it possible?
Well she never!
Mrs. Sedley was all excitement about this news.
She wished that Blenkinsop were here to hear it: Blenkinsop always mistrusted that Miss Sharp.
-- What an escape Jos had had!
and she described the already well-known love-passages between Rebecca and the Collector of Boggley Wollah.
It was not,
Mr. Sedley's wrath which Dobbin feared,
so much as that of the other parent concerned,
and he owned that he had a very considerable doubt and anxiety respecting the behaviour of the black-browed old tyrant of a Russia merchant in Russell Square.
He has forbidden the match peremptorily,
He knew what a savage determined man Osborne was,
and how he stuck by his word.
"The only chance George has of reconcilement,"
argued his friend,
"is by distinguishing himself in the coming campaign.
If he dies they both go together.
If he fails in distinction --what then?
He has some money from his mother,
I have heard enough to purchase his majority --or he must sell out and go and dig in Canada,
or rough it in a cottage in the country."
With such a partner Dobbin thought he would not mind Siberia --and,
strange to say,
this absurd and utterly imprudent young fellow never for a moment considered that the want of means to keep a nice carriage and horses,
and of an income which should enable its possessors to entertain their friends genteelly,
ought to operate as bars to the union of George and Miss Sedley.
It was these weighty considerations which made him think too that the marriage should take place as quickly as possible.
Was he anxious himself,
to have it over?
when death has occurred,
like to press forward the funeral,
or when a parting is resolved upon,
It is certain that Mr. Dobbin,
having taken the matter in hand,
was most extraordinarily eager in the conduct of it.
He urged on George the necessity of immediate action: he showed the chances of reconciliation with his father,
which a favourable mention of his name in the Gazette must bring about.
If need were he would go himself and brave both the fathers in the business.
At all events,
he besought George to go through with it before the orders came,
which everybody expected,
for the departure of the regiment from England on foreign service.
Bent upon these hymeneal projects,
and with the applause and consent of Mrs. Sedley,
who did not care to break the matter personally to her husband,
Mr. Dobbin went to seek John Sedley at his house of call in the City,
the Tapioca Coffee-house,
since his own offices were shut up,
and fate had overtaken him,
the poor broken-down old gentleman used to betake himself daily,
and write letters and receive them,
and tie them up into mysterious bundles,
several of which he carried in the flaps of his coat.
I don't know anything more dismal than that business and bustle and mystery of a ruined man: those letters from the wealthy which he shows you: those worn greasy documents promising support and offering condolence which he places wistfully before you,
and on which he builds his hopes of restoration and future fortune.
My beloved reader has no doubt in the course of his experience been waylaid by many such a luckless companion.
He takes you into the corner;
he has his bundle of papers out of his gaping coat pocket;
and the tape off,
and the string in his mouth,
and the favourite letters selected and laid before you;
and who does not know the sad eager half-crazy look which he fixes on you with his hopeless eyes?
Changed into a man of this sort,
Dobbin found the once florid,
and prosperous John Sedley.
that used to be so glossy and trim,
was white at the seams,
and the buttons showed the copper.
His face had fallen in,
and was unshorn;
his frill and neckcloth hung limp under his bagging waistcoat.
When he used to treat the boys in old days at a coffee-house,
he would shout and laugh louder than anybody there,
and have all the waiters skipping round him;
it was quite painful to see how humble and civil he was to John of the Tapioca,
a blear-eyed old attendant in dingy stockings and cracked pumps,
whose business it was to serve glasses of wafers,
and bumpers of ink in pewter,
and slices of paper to the frequenters of this dreary house of entertainment,
where nothing else seemed to be consumed.
As for William Dobbin,
whom he had tipped repeatedly in his youth,
and who had been the old gentleman's butt on a thousand occasions,
old Sedley gave his hand to him in a very hesitating humble manner now,
and called him "Sir."
A feeling of shame and remorse took possession of William Dobbin as the broken old man so received and addressed him,
as if he himself had been somehow guilty of the misfortunes which had brought Sedley so low.
"I am very glad to see you,
after a skulking look or two at his visitor (whose lanky figure and military appearance caused some excitement likewise to twinkle in the blear eyes of the waiter in the cracked dancing pumps,
and awakened the old lady in black,
who dozed among the mouldy old coffee-cups in the bar).
"How is the worthy alderman,
and my lady,
your excellent mother,
He looked round at the waiter as he said,
as much as to say,
I have friends still,
and persons of rank and reputation,
"Are you come to do anything in my way,
My young friends Dale and Spiggot do all my business for me now,
until my new offices are ready;
for I'm only here temporarily,
What can we do for you,
Will you like to take anything?"
with a great deal of hesitation and stuttering,
protested that he was not in the least hungry or thirsty;
that he had no business to transact;
that he only came to ask if Mr. Sedley was well,
and to shake hands with an old friend;
with a desperate perversion of truth,
"My mother is very well --that is,
she's been very unwell,
and is only waiting for the first fine day to go out and call upon Mrs. Sedley.
How is Mrs. Sedley,
I hope she's quite well."
And here he paused,
reflecting on his own consummate hypocrisy;
for the day was as fine,
and the sunshine as bright as it ever is in Coffin Court,
where the Tapioca Coffee-house is situated: and Mr. Dobbin remembered that he had seen Mrs. Sedley himself only an hour before,
having driven Osborne down to Fulham in his gig,
and left him there tete-a-tete with Miss Amelia.
"My wife will be very happy to see her ladyship,"
pulling out his papers.
"I've a very kind letter here from your father,
and beg my respectful compliments to him.
Lady D. will find us in rather a smaller house than we were accustomed to receive our friends in;
but it's snug,
and the change of air does good to my daughter,
who was suffering in town rather --you remember little Emmy,
suffering a good deal."
The old gentleman's eyes were wandering as he spoke,
and he was thinking of something else,
as he sate thrumming on his papers and fumbling at the worn red tape.
"You're a military man,"
he went on;
"I ask you,
could any man ever have speculated upon the return of that Corsican scoundrel from Elba?
When the allied sovereigns were here last year,
and we gave
'em that dinner in the City,
and we saw the Temple of Concord,
and the fireworks,
and the Chinese bridge in St. James's Park,
could any sensible man suppose that peace wasn't really concluded,
after we'd actually sung Te Deum for it,
I ask you,
could I suppose that the Emperor of Austria was a damned traitor --a traitor,
and nothing more?
I don't mince words --a double-faced infernal traitor and schemer,
who meant to have his son-in-law back all along.
And I say that the escape of Boney from Elba was a damned imposition and plot,
in which half the powers of Europe were concerned,
to bring the funds down,
and to ruin this country.
That's why I'm here,
That's why my name's in the Gazette.
--because I trusted the Emperor of Russia and the Prince Regent.
Look at my papers.
Look what the funds were on the 1st of March --what the French fives were when I bought for the count.
And what they're at now.
There was collusion,
or that villain never would have escaped.
Where was the English Commissioner who allowed him to get away?
He ought to be shot,
sir --brought to a court-martial,
"We're going to hunt Boney out,
rather alarmed at the fury of the old man,
the veins of whose forehead began to swell,
and who sate drumming his papers with his clenched fist.
"We are going to hunt him out,
sir --the Duke's in Belgium already,
and we expect marching orders every day."
"Give him no quarter.
Bring back the villain's head,
Shoot the coward down,
"I'd enlist myself,
but I'm a broken old man --ruined by that damned scoundrel --and by a parcel of swindling thieves in this country whom I made,
and who are rolling in their carriages now,"
with a break in his voice.
Dobbin was not a little affected by the sight of this once kind old friend,
crazed almost with misfortune and raving with senile anger.
Pity the fallen gentleman: you to whom money and fair repute are the chiefest good;
are they in Vanity Fair.
"there are some vipers that you warm,
and they sting you afterwards.
There are some beggars that you put on horseback,
and they're the first to ride you down.
You know whom I mean,
I mean a purse-proud villain in Russell Square,
whom I knew without a shilling,
and whom I pray and hope to see a beggar as he was when I befriended him."
"I have heard something of this,
from my friend George,"
anxious to come to his point.
"The quarrel between you and his father has cut him up a great deal,
I'm the bearer of a message from him."
THAT'S your errand,
cried the old man,
perhaps he condoles with me,
Very kind of him,
the stiff-backed prig,
with his dandified airs and West End swagger.
He's hankering about my house,
is he still?
If my son had the courage of a man,
he'd shoot him.
He's as big a villain as his father.
I won't have his name mentioned in my house.
I curse the day that ever I let him into it;
and I'd rather see my daughter dead at my feet than married to him."
"His father's harshness is not George's fault,
Your daughter's love for him is as much your doing as his.
Who are you,
that you are to play with two young people's affections and break their hearts at your will?"
"Recollect it's not his father that breaks the match off,"
old Sedley cried out.
"It's I that forbid it.
That family and mine are separated for ever.
I'm fallen low,
but not so low as that: no,
And so you may tell the whole race --son,
and father and sisters,
"It's my belief,
that you have not the power or the right to separate those two,"
Dobbin answered in a low voice;
"and that if you don't give your daughter your consent it will be her duty to marry without it.
There's no reason she should die or live miserably because you are wrong-headed.
To my thinking,
she's just as much married as if the banns had been read in all the churches in London.
And what better answer can there be to Osborne's charges against you,
as charges there are,
than that his son claims to enter your family and marry your daughter?"
A light of something like satisfaction seemed to break over old Sedley as this point was put to him: but he still persisted that with his consent the marriage between Amelia and George should never take place.
"We must do it without,"
and told Mr. Sedley,
as he had told Mrs. Sedley in the day,
the story of Rebecca's elopement with Captain Crawley.
It evidently amused the old gentleman.
"You're terrible fellows,
tying up his papers;
and his face wore something like a smile upon it,
to the astonishment of the blear-eyed waiter who now entered,
and had never seen such an expression upon Sedley's countenance since he had used the dismal coffee-house.
The idea of hitting his enemy Osborne such a blow soothed,
the old gentleman: and,
their colloquy presently ending,
he and Dobbin parted pretty good friends.
"My sisters say she has diamonds as big as pigeons' eggs,"
"How they must set off her complexion!
A perfect illumination it must be when her jewels are on her neck.
Her jet-black hair is as curly as Sambo's.
I dare say she wore a nose ring when she went to court;
and with a plume of feathers in her top-knot she would look a perfect Belle Sauvage."
in conversation with Amelia,
was rallying the appearance of a young lady of whom his father and sisters had lately made the acquaintance,
and who was an object of vast respect to the Russell Square family.
She was reported to have I don't know how many plantations in the West Indies;
a deal of money in the funds;
and three stars to her name in the East India stockholders' list.
She had a mansion in Surrey,
and a house in Portland Place.
The name of the rich West India heiress had been mentioned with applause in the Morning Post.
Colonel Haggistoun's widow,
and kept her house.
She was just from school,
where she had completed her education,
and George and his sisters had met her at an evening party at old Hulker's house,
Devonshire Place (Hulker,
were long the correspondents of her house in the West Indies),
and the girls had made the most cordial advances to her,
which the heiress had received with great good humour.
An orphan in her position --with her money --so interesting!
the Misses Osborne said.
They were full of their new friend when they returned from the Hulker ball to Miss Wirt,
they had made arrangements for continually meeting,
and had the carriage and drove to see her the very next day.
Colonel Haggistoun's widow,
a relation of Lord Binkie,
and always talking of him,
struck the dear unsophisticated girls as rather haughty,
and too much inclined to talk about her great relations: but Rhoda was everything they could wish --the frankest,
most agreeable creature --wanting a little polish,
but so good-natured.
The girls Christian-named each other at once.
"You should have seen her dress for court,
"She came to my sisters to show it off,
before she was presented in state by my Lady Binkie,
the Haggistoun's kinswoman.
She's related to every one,
Her diamonds blazed out like Vauxhall on the night we were there.
(Do you remember Vauxhall,
and Jos singing to his dearest diddle diddle darling?) Diamonds and mahogany,
think what an advantageous contrast --and the white feathers in her hair --I mean in her wool.
She had earrings like chandeliers;
you might have lighted
by Jove --and a yellow satin train that streeled after her like the tail of a cornet."
"How old is she?"
to whom George was rattling away regarding this dark paragon,
on the morning of their reunion --rattling away as no other man in the world surely could.
"Why the Black Princess,
though she has only just left school,
must be two or three and twenty.
And you should see the hand she writes!
Mrs. Colonel Haggistoun usually writes her letters,
but in a moment of confidence,
she put pen to paper for my sisters;
she spelt satin satting,
and Saint James's,
surely it must be Miss Swartz,
the parlour boarder,"
remembering that good-natured young mulatto girl,
who had been so hysterically affected when Amelia left Miss Pinkerton's academy.
"The very name,"
"Her father was a German Jew --a slave-owner they say --connected with the Cannibal Islands in some way or other.
He died last year,
and Miss Pinkerton has finished her education.
She can play two pieces on the piano;
she knows three songs;
she can write when Mrs. Haggistoun is by to spell for her;
and Jane and Maria already have got to love her as a sister."
"I wish they would have loved me,"
"They were always very cold to me."
"My dear child,
they would have loved you if you had had two hundred thousand pounds,"
"That is the way in which they have been brought up.
Ours is a ready-money society.
We live among bankers and City big-wigs,
and be hanged to them,
and every man,
as he talks to you,
is jingling his guineas in his pocket.
There is that jackass Fred Bullock is going to marry Maria --there's Goldmore,
the East India Director,
in the tallow trade --OUR trade,"
with an uneasy laugh and a blush.
"Curse the whole pack of money-grubbing vulgarians!
I fall asleep at their great heavy dinners.
I feel ashamed in my father's great stupid parties.
I've been accustomed to live with gentlemen,
and men of the world and fashion,
not with a parcel of turtle-fed tradesmen.
Dear little woman,
you are the only person of our set who ever looked,
or spoke like a lady: and you do it because you're an angel and can't help it.
You are the only lady.
Didn't Miss Crawley remark it,
who has lived in the best company in Europe?
And as for Crawley,
of the Life Guards,
he's a fine fellow: and I like him for marrying the girl he had chosen."
Amelia admired Mr. Crawley very much,
and trusted Rebecca would be happy with him,
and hoped (with a laugh) Jos would be consoled.
And so the pair went on prattling,
as in quite early days.
Amelia's confidence being perfectly restored to her,
though she expressed a great deal of pretty jealousy about Miss Swartz,
and professed to be dreadfully frightened --like a hypocrite as she was --lest George should forget her for the heiress and her money and her estates in Saint Kitt's.
But the fact is,
she was a great deal too happy to have fears or doubts or misgivings of any sort: and having George at her side again,
was not afraid of any heiress or beauty,
or indeed of any sort of danger.
When Captain Dobbin came back in the afternoon to these people --which he did with a great deal of sympathy for them --it did his heart good to see how Amelia had grown young again --how she laughed,
and sang familiar old songs at the piano,
which were only interrupted by the bell from without proclaiming Mr. Sedley's return from the City,
before whom George received a signal to retreat.
Beyond the first smile of recognition --and even that was an hypocrisy,
for she thought his arrival rather provoking --Miss Sedley did not once notice Dobbin during his visit.
But he was content,
so that he saw her happy;
and thankful to have been the means of making her so.
A Quarrel About an Heiress
Love may be felt for any young lady endowed with such qualities as Miss Swartz possessed;
and a great dream of ambition entered into old Mr. Osborne's soul,
which she was to realize.
with the utmost enthusiasm and friendliness,
his daughters' amiable attachment to the young heiress,
and protested that it gave him the sincerest pleasure as a father to see the love of his girls so well disposed.
"You won't find,"
he would say to Miss Rhoda,
"that splendour and rank to which you are accustomed at the West End,
my dear Miss,
at our humble mansion in Russell Square.
My daughters are plain,
but their hearts are in the right place,
and they've conceived an attachment for you which does them honour --I say,
which does them honour.
I'm a plain,
humble British merchant --an honest one,
as my respected friends Hulker and Bullock will vouch,
who were the correspondents of your late lamented father.
You'll find us a united,
and I think I may say respected,
family --a plain table,
a plain people,
but a warm welcome,
my dear Miss Rhoda --Rhoda,
let me say,
for my heart warms to you,
it does really.
I'm a frank man,
and I like you.
A glass of Champagne!
Champagne to Miss Swartz."
There is little doubt that old Osborne believed all he said,
and that the girls were quite earnest in their protestations of affection for Miss Swartz.
People in Vanity Fair fasten on to rich folks quite naturally.
If the simplest people are disposed to look not a little kindly on great Prosperity (for I defy any member of the British public to say that the notion of Wealth has not something awful and pleasing to him;
if you are told that the man next you at dinner has got half a million,
not to look at him with a certain interest) --if the simple look benevolently on money,
how much more do your old worldlings regard it!
Their affections rush out to meet and welcome money.
Their kind sentiments awaken spontaneously towards the interesting possessors of it.
I know some respectable people who don't consider themselves at liberty to indulge in friendship for any individual who has not a certain competency,
or place in society.
They give a loose to their feelings on proper occasions.
And the proof is,
that the major part of the Osborne family,
who had not,
in fifteen years,
been able to get up a hearty regard for Amelia Sedley,
became as fond of Miss Swartz in the course of a single evening as the most romantic advocate of friendship at first sight could desire.
What a match for George she'd be (the sisters and Miss Wirt agreed),
and how much better than that insignificant little Amelia!
Such a dashing young fellow as he is,
with his good looks,
would be the very husband for her.
Visions of balls in Portland Place,
presentations at Court,
and introductions to half the peerage,
filled the minds of the young ladies;
who talked of nothing but George and his grand acquaintances to their beloved new friend.
Old Osborne thought she would be a great match,
for his son.
He should leave the army;
he should go into Parliament;
he should cut a figure in the fashion and in the state.
His blood boiled with honest British exultation,
as he saw the name of Osborne ennobled in the person of his son,
and thought that he might be the progenitor of a glorious line of baronets.
He worked in the City and on
until he knew everything relating to the fortune of the heiress,
how her money was placed,
and where her estates lay.
Young Fred Bullock,
one of his chief informants,
would have liked to make a bid for her himself (it was so the young banker expressed it),
only he was booked to Maria Osborne.
But not being able to secure her as a wife,
the disinterested Fred quite approved of her as a sister-in-law.
"Let George cut in directly and win her,"
was his advice.
"Strike while the iron's hot,
you know --while she's fresh to the town: in a few weeks some d -- -- fellow from the West End will come in with a title and a rotten rent-roll and cut all us City men out,
as Lord Fitzrufus did last year with Miss Grogram,
who was actually engaged to Podder,
of Podder & Brown's.
The sooner it is done the better,
them's my sentiments,"
the wag said;
when Osborne had left the bank parlour,
Mr. Bullock remembered Amelia,
and what a pretty girl she was,
and how attached to George Osborne;
and he gave up at least ten seconds of his valuable time to regretting the misfortune which had befallen that unlucky young woman.
While thus George Osborne's good feelings,
and his good friend and genius,
were carrying back the truant to Amelia's feet,
George's parent and sisters were arranging this splendid match for him,
which they never dreamed he would resist.
When the elder Osborne gave what he called "a hint,"
there was no possibility for the most obtuse to mistake his meaning.
He called kicking a footman downstairs a hint to the latter to leave his service.
With his usual frankness and delicacy he told Mrs. Haggistoun that he would give her a cheque for five thousand pounds on the day his son was married to her ward;
and called that proposal a hint,
and considered it a very dexterous piece of diplomacy.
He gave George finally such another hint regarding the heiress;
and ordered him to marry her out of hand,
as he would have ordered his butler to draw a cork,
or his clerk to write a letter.
This imperative hint disturbed George a good deal.
He was in the very first enthusiasm and delight of his second courtship of Amelia,
which was inexpressibly sweet to him.
The contrast of her manners and appearance with those of the heiress,
made the idea of a union with the latter appear doubly ludicrous and odious.
Carriages and opera-boxes,
fancy being seen in them by the side of such a mahogany charmer as that!
Add to all that the junior Osborne was quite as obstinate as the senior: when he wanted a thing,
quite as firm in his resolution to get it;
and quite as violent when angered,
as his father in his most stern moments.
On the first day when his father formally gave him the hint that he was to place his affections at Miss Swartz's feet,
George temporised with the old gentleman.
"You should have thought of the matter sooner,
"It can't be done now,
when we're expecting every day to go on foreign service.
Wait till my return,
if I do return";
and then he represented,
that the time when the regiment was daily expecting to quit England,
was exceedingly ill-chosen: that the few days or weeks during which they were still to remain at home,
must be devoted to business and not to love-making: time enough for that when he came home with his majority;
I promise you,"
with a satisfied air,
"that one way or other you shall read the name of George Osborne in the Gazette."
The father's reply to this was founded upon the information which he had got in the City: that the West End chaps would infallibly catch hold of the heiress if any delay took place: that if he didn't marry Miss S.,
he might at least have an engagement in writing,
to come into effect when he returned to England;
and that a man who could get ten thousand a year by staying at home,
was a fool to risk his life abroad.
"So that you would have me shown up as a coward,
and our name dishonoured for the sake of Miss Swartz's money,"
This remark staggered the old gentleman;
but as he had to reply to it,
and as his mind was nevertheless made up,
"You will dine here to-morrow,
and every day Miss Swartz comes,
you will be here to pay your respects to her.
If you want for money,
call upon Mr. Chopper."
Thus a new obstacle was in George's way,
to interfere with his plans regarding Amelia;
and about which he and Dobbin had more than one confidential consultation.
His friend's opinion respecting the line of conduct which he ought to pursue,
we know already.
And as for Osborne,
when he was once bent on a thing,
a fresh obstacle or two only rendered him the more resolute.
The dark object of the conspiracy into which the chiefs of the Osborne family had entered,
was quite ignorant of all their plans regarding her (which,
strange to say,
her friend and chaperon did not divulge),
taking all the young ladies' flattery for genuine sentiment,
as we have before had occasion to show,
of a very warm and impetuous nature,
responded to their affection with quite a tropical ardour.
And if the truth may be told,
I dare say that she too had some selfish attraction in the Russell Square house;
and in a word,
thought George Osborne a very nice young man.
His whiskers had made an impression upon her,
on the very first night she beheld them at the ball at Messrs.
as we know,
she was not the first woman who had been charmed by them.
George had an air at once swaggering and melancholy,
languid and fierce.
He looked like a man who had passions,
and private harrowing griefs and adventures.
His voice was rich and deep.
He would say it was a warm evening,
or ask his partner to take an ice,
with a tone as sad and confidential as if he were breaking her mother's death to her,
or preluding a declaration of love.
He trampled over all the young bucks of his father's circle,
and was the hero among those third-rate men.
Some few sneered at him and hated him.
fanatically admired him.
And his whiskers had begun to do their work,
and to curl themselves round the affections of Miss Swartz.
Whenever there was a chance of meeting him in Russell Square,
that simple and good-natured young woman was quite in a flurry to see her dear Misses Osborne.
She went to great expenses in new gowns,
and in prodigious feathers.
She adorned her person with her utmost skill to please the Conqueror,
and exhibited all her simple accomplishments to win his favour.
The girls would ask her,
with the greatest gravity,
for a little music,
and she would sing her three songs and play her two little pieces as often as ever they asked,
and with an always increasing pleasure to herself.
During these delectable entertainments,
Miss Wirt and the chaperon sate by,
and conned over the peerage,
and talked about the nobility.
The day after George had his hint from his father,
and a short time before the hour of dinner,
he was lolling upon a sofa in the drawing-room in a very becoming and perfectly natural attitude of melancholy.
He had been,
at his father's request,
to Mr. Chopper in the City (the old-gentleman,
though he gave great sums to his son,
would never specify any fixed allowance for him,
and rewarded him only as he was in the humour).
He had then been to pass three hours with Amelia,
his dear little Amelia,
and he came home to find his sisters spread in starched muslin in the drawing-room,
the dowagers cackling in the background,
and honest Swartz in her favourite amber-coloured satin,
with turquoise bracelets,
and all sorts of tags and gimcracks,
about as elegantly decorated as a she chimney-sweep on May-day.
after vain attempts to engage him in conversation,
talked about fashions and the last drawing-room until he was perfectly sick of their chatter.
He contrasted their behaviour with little Emmy's --their shrill voices with her tender ringing tones;
their attitudes and their elbows and their starch,
with her humble soft movements and modest graces.
Poor Swartz was seated in a place where Emmy had been accustomed to sit.
Her bejewelled hands lay sprawling in her amber satin lap.
Her tags and ear-rings twinkled,
and her big eyes rolled about.
She was doing nothing with perfect contentment,
and thinking herself charming.
Anything so becoming as the satin the sisters had never seen.
George said to a confidential friend,
"she looked like a China doll,
which has nothing to do all day but to grin and wag its head.
it was all I I could do to prevent myself from throwing the sofa-cushion at her."
He restrained that exhibition of sentiment,
The sisters began to play the Battle of Prague.
"Stop that d -- -- thing,"
George howled out in a fury from the sofa.
"It makes me mad.
You play us something,
anything but the Battle of Prague."
"Shall I sing
'Blue Eyed Mary' or the air from the Cabinet?"
Miss Swartz asked.
"That sweet thing from the Cabinet,"
the sisters said.
"We've had that,"
replied the misanthrope on the sofa
"I can sing
'Fluvy du Tajy,'" Swartz said,
in a meek voice,
"if I had the words."
It was the last of the worthy young woman's collection.
'Fleuve du Tage,'" Miss Maria cried;
"we have the song,"
and went off to fetch the book in which it was.
Now it happened that this song,
then in the height of the fashion,
had been given to the young ladies by a young friend of theirs,
whose name was on the title,
and Miss Swartz,
having concluded the ditty with George's applause (for he remembered that it was a favourite of Amelia's),
was hoping for an encore perhaps,
and fiddling with the leaves of the music,
when her eye fell upon the title,
and she saw "Amelia Sedley" written in the comer.
cried Miss Swartz,
spinning swiftly round on the music-stool,
"is it my Amelia?
Amelia that was at Miss P.'s at Hammersmith?
I know it is.
and -- Tell me about her --where is she?"
"Don't mention her,"
Miss Maria Osborne said hastily.
"Her family has disgraced itself.
Her father cheated Papa,
and as for her,
she is never to be mentioned HERE."
This was Miss Maria's return for George's rudeness about the Battle of Prague.
"Are you a friend of Amelia's?"
"God bless you for it,
Don't believe what the girls say.
SHE'S not to blame at any rate.
She's the best --"
"You know you're not to speak about her,
"Papa forbids it."
"Who's to prevent me?"
George cried out.
"I will speak of her.
I say she's the best,
the sweetest girl in England;
bankrupt or no,
my sisters are not fit to hold candles to her.
If you like her,
go and see her,
she wants friends now;
and I say,
God bless everybody who befriends her.
Anybody who speaks kindly of her is my friend;
anybody who speaks against her is my enemy.
and he went up and wrung her hand.
one of the sisters cried imploringly.
George said fiercely,
"I thank everybody who loves Amelia Sed --" He stopped.
Old Osborne was in the room with a face livid with rage,
and eyes like hot coals.
Though George had stopped in his sentence,
his blood being up,
he was not to be cowed by all the generations of Osborne;
he replied to the bullying look of his father,
with another so indicative of resolution and defiance that the elder man quailed in his turn,
and looked away.
He felt that the tussle was coming.
let me take you down to dinner,"
"Give your arm to Miss Swartz,
and they marched.
I love Amelia,
and we've been engaged almost all our lives,"
Osborne said to his partner;
and during all the dinner,
George rattled on with a volubility which surprised himself,
and made his father doubly nervous for the fight which was to take place as soon as the ladies were gone.
The difference between the pair was,
that while the father was violent and a bully,
the son had thrice the nerve and courage of the parent,
and could not merely make an attack,
but resist it;
and finding that the moment was now come when the contest between him and his father was to be decided,
he took his dinner with perfect coolness and appetite before the engagement began.
on the contrary,
and drank much.
He floundered in his conversation with the ladies,
his neighbours: George's coolness only rendering him more angry.
It made him half mad to see the calm way in which George,
flapping his napkin,
and with a swaggering bow,
opened the door for the ladies to leave the room;
and filling himself a glass of wine,
and looked his father full in the face,
as if to say,
"Gentlemen of the Guard,
The old man also took a supply of ammunition,
but his decanter clinked against the glass as he tried to fill it.
After giving a great heave,
and with a purple choking face,
he then began.
"How dare you,
mention that person's name before Miss Swartz to-day,
in my drawing-room?
I ask you,
how dare you do it?"
"don't say dare,
Dare isn't a word to be used to a Captain in the British Army."
"I shall say what I like to my son,
I can cut him off with a shilling if I like.
I can make him a beggar if I like.
I WILL say what I like,"
the elder said.
"I'm a gentleman though I AM your son,
George answered haughtily.
"Any communications which you have to make to me,
or any orders which you may please to give,
I beg may be couched in that kind of language which I am accustomed to hear."
Whenever the lad assumed his haughty manner,
it always created either great awe or great irritation in the parent.
Old Osborne stood in secret terror of his son as a better gentleman than himself;
and perhaps my readers may have remarked in their experience of this Vanity Fair of ours,
that there is no character which a low-minded man so much mistrusts as that of a gentleman.
"My father didn't give me the education you have had,
nor the advantages you have had,
nor the money you have had.
If I had kept the company SOME FOLKS have had through MY MEANS,
perhaps my son wouldn't have any reason to brag,
of his SUPERIORITY and WEST END AIRS (these words were uttered in the elder Osborne's most sarcastic tones).
But it wasn't considered the part of a gentleman,
in MY time,
for a man to insult his father.
If I'd done any such thing,
mine would have kicked me downstairs,
"I never insulted you,
I said I begged you to remember your son was a gentleman as well as yourself.
I know very well that you give me plenty of money,"
said George (fingering a bundle of notes which he had got in the morning from Mr. Chopper).
"You tell it me often enough,
There's no fear of my forgetting it."
"I wish you'd remember other things as well,
the sire answered.
"I wish you'd remember that in this house --so long as you choose to HONOUR it with your COMPANY,
Captain --I'm the master,
and that name,
and that that --that you --that I say --"
with scarcely a sneer,
filling another glass of claret.
" -- --!"
burst out his father with a screaming oath --"that the name of those Sedleys never be mentioned here,
sir --not one of the whole damned lot of
"It wasn't I,
that introduced Miss Sedley's name.
It was my sisters who spoke ill of her to Miss Swartz;
and by Jove I'll defend her wherever I go.
Nobody shall speak lightly of that name in my presence.
Our family has done her quite enough injury already,
and may leave off reviling her now she's down.
I'll shoot any man but you who says a word against her."
the old gentleman said,
his eyes starting out of his head.
"Go on about what,
about the way in which we've treated that angel of a girl?
Who told me to love her?
It was your doing.
I might have chosen elsewhere,
and looked higher,
than your society: but I obeyed you.
And now that her heart's mine you give me orders to fling it away,
and punish her,
kill her perhaps --for the faults of other people.
It's a shame,
working himself up into passion and enthusiasm as he proceeded,
"to play at fast and loose with a young girl's affections --and with such an angel as that --one so superior to the people amongst whom she lived,
that she might have excited envy,
only she was so good and gentle,
that it's a wonder anybody dared to hate her.
If I desert her,
do you suppose she forgets me?"
"I ain't going to have any of this dam sentimental nonsense and humbug here,
the father cried out.
"There shall be no beggar-marriages in my family.
If you choose to fling away eight thousand a year,
which you may have for the asking,
you may do it: but by Jove you take your pack and walk out of this house,
Will you do as I tell you,
once for all,
or will you not?"
"Marry that mulatto woman?"
pulling up his shirt-collars.
"I don't like the colour,
Ask the black that sweeps opposite Fleet Market,
I'm not going to marry a Hottentot Venus."
Mr. Osborne pulled frantically at the cord by which he was accustomed to summon the butler when he wanted wine --and almost black in the face,
ordered that functionary to call a coach for Captain Osborne.
"I've done it,"
coming into the Slaughters' an hour afterwards,
looking very pale.
George told what had passed between his father and himself.
"I'll marry her to-morrow,"
he said with an oath.
"I love her more every day,
A Marriage and Part of a Honeymoon
Enemies the most obstinate and courageous can't hold out against starvation;
so the elder Osborne felt himself pretty easy about his adversary in the encounter we have just described;
and as soon as George's supplies fell short,
confidently expected his unconditional submission.
It was unlucky,
to be sure,
that the lad should have secured a stock of provisions on the very day when the first encounter took place;
but this relief was only temporary,
old Osborne thought,
and would but delay George's surrender.
No communication passed between father and son for some days.
The former was sulky at this silence,
but not disquieted;
as he said,
he knew where he could put the screw upon George,
and only waited the result of that operation.
He told the sisters the upshot of the dispute between them,
but ordered them to take no notice of the matter,
and welcome George on his return as if nothing had happened.
His cover was laid as usual every day,
and perhaps the old gentleman rather anxiously expected him;
but he never came.
Some one inquired at the Slaughters' regarding him,
where it was said that he and his friend Captain Dobbin had left town.
raw day at the end of April --the rain whipping the pavement of that ancient street where the old Slaughters' Coffee-house was once situated --George Osborne came into the coffee-room,
looking very haggard and pale;
although dressed rather smartly in a blue coat and brass buttons,
and a neat buff waistcoat of the fashion of those days.
Here was his friend Captain Dobbin,
in blue and brass too,
having abandoned the military frock and French-grey trousers,
which were the usual coverings of his lanky person.
Dobbin had been in the coffee-room for an hour or more.
He had tried all the papers,
but could not read them.
He had looked at the clock many scores of times;
and at the street,
where the rain was pattering down,
and the people as they clinked by in pattens,
left long reflections on the shining stone: he tattooed at the table: he bit his nails most completely,
and nearly to the quick (he was accustomed to ornament his great big hands in this way): he balanced the tea-spoon dexterously on the milk jug: upset it,
and in fact showed those signs of disquietude,
and practised those desperate attempts at amusement,
which men are accustomed to employ when very anxious,
and perturbed in mind.
Some of his comrades,
gentlemen who used the room,
joked him about the splendour of his costume and his agitation of manner.
One asked him if he was going to be married?
and said he would send his acquaintance (Major Wagstaff of the Engineers) a piece of cake when that event took place.
At length Captain Osborne made his appearance,
very smartly dressed,
but very pale and agitated as we have said.
He wiped his pale face with a large yellow bandanna pocket-handkerchief that was prodigiously scented.
He shook hands with Dobbin,
looked at the clock,
and told John,
to bring him some curacao.
Of this cordial he swallowed off a couple of glasses with nervous eagerness.
His friend asked with some interest about his health.
"Couldn't get a wink of sleep till daylight,
"Infernal headache and fever.
Got up at nine,
and went down to the Hummums for a bath.
I feel just as I did on the morning I went out with Rocket at Quebec."
"So do I,"
"I was a deuced deal more nervous than you were that morning.
You made a famous breakfast,
Eat something now."
"You're a good old fellow,
I'll drink your health,
and farewell to --"
two glasses are enough,"
Dobbin interrupted him.
take away the liqueurs,
Have some cayenne-pepper with your fowl.
Make haste though,
for it is time we were there."
It was about half an hour from twelve when this brief meeting and colloquy took place between the two captains.
into which Captain Osborne's servant put his master's desk and dressing-case,
had been in waiting for some time;
and into this the two gentlemen hurried under an umbrella,
and the valet mounted on the box,
cursing the rain and the dampness of the coachman who was steaming beside him.
"We shall find a better trap than this at the church-door,"
"that's a comfort."
And the carriage drove on,
taking the road down Piccadilly,
where Apsley House and St. George's Hospital wore red jackets still;
where there were oil-lamps;
where Achilles was not yet born;
nor the Pimlico arch raised;
nor the hideous equestrian monster which pervades it and the neighbourhood;
and so they drove down by Brompton to a certain chapel near the Fulham Road there.
A chariot was in waiting with four horses;
likewise a coach of the kind called glass coaches.
Only a very few idlers were collected on account of the dismal rain.
"I said only a pair."
"My master would have four,"
said Mr. Joseph Sedley's servant,
who was in waiting;
and he and Mr. Osborne's man agreed as they followed George and William into the church,
that it was a "reg'lar shabby turn hout;
and with scarce so much as a breakfast or a wedding faviour."
"Here you are,"
said our old friend,
"You're five minutes late,
What a day,
it's like the commencement of the rainy season in Bengal.
But you'll find my carriage is watertight.
my mother and Emmy are in the vestry."
Jos Sedley was splendid.
He was fatter than ever.
His shirt collars were higher;
his face was redder;
his shirt-frill flaunted gorgeously out of his variegated waistcoat.
Varnished boots were not invented as yet;
but the Hessians on his beautiful legs shone so,
that they must have been the identical pair in which the gentleman in the old picture used to shave himself;
and on his light green coat there bloomed a fine wedding favour,
like a great white spreading magnolia.
In a word,
George had thrown the great cast.
He was going to be married.
Hence his pallor and nervousness --his sleepless night and agitation in the morning.
I have heard people who have gone through the same thing own to the same emotion.
After three or four ceremonies,
you get accustomed to it,
but the first dip,
The bride was dressed in a brown silk pelisse (as Captain Dobbin has since informed me),
and wore a straw bonnet with a pink ribbon;
over the bonnet she had a veil of white Chantilly lace,
a gift from Mr. Joseph Sedley,
Captain Dobbin himself had asked leave to present her with a gold chain and watch,
which she sported on this occasion;
and her mother gave her her diamond brooch --almost the only trinket which was left to the old lady.
As the service went on,
Mrs. Sedley sat and whimpered a great deal in a pew,
consoled by the Irish maid-servant and Mrs. Clapp from the lodgings.
Old Sedley would not be present.
Jos acted for his father,
giving away the bride,
whilst Captain Dobbin stepped up as groomsman to his friend George.
There was nobody in the church besides the officiating persons and the small marriage party and their attendants.
The two valets sat aloof superciliously.
The rain came rattling down on the windows.
In the intervals of the service you heard it,
and the sobbing of old Mrs. Sedley in the pew.
The parson's tones echoed sadly through the empty walls.
Osborne's "I will" was sounded in very deep bass.
Emmy's response came fluttering up to her lips from her heart,
but was scarcely heard by anybody except Captain Dobbin.
When the service was completed,
Jos Sedley came forward and kissed his sister,
for the first time for many months --George's look of gloom had gone,
and he seemed quite proud and radiant.
"It's your turn,
putting his hand fondly upon Dobbin's shoulder;
and Dobbin went up and touched Amelia on the cheek.
Then they went into the vestry and signed the register.
"God bless you,
grasping him by the hand,
with something very like moisture glistening in his eyes.
William replied only by nodding his head.
His heart was too full to say much.
and come down as soon as you can,
After Mrs. Sedley had taken an hysterical adieu of her daughter,
the pair went off to the carriage.
"Get out of the way,
you little devils,"
George cried to a small crowd of damp urchins,
that were hanging about the chapel-door.
The rain drove into the bride and bridegroom's faces as they passed to the chariot.
The postilions' favours draggled on their dripping jackets.
The few children made a dismal cheer,
as the carriage,
William Dobbin stood in the church-porch,
looking at it,
a queer figure.
The small crew of spectators jeered him.
He was not thinking about them or their laughter.
"Come home and have some tiffin,
a voice cried behind him;
as a pudgy hand was laid on his shoulder,
and the honest fellow's reverie was interrupted.
But the Captain had no heart to go a-feasting with Jos Sedley.
He put the weeping old lady and her attendants into the carriage along with Jos,
and left them without any farther words passing.
and the urchins gave another sarcastical cheer.
you little beggars,"
giving some sixpences amongst them,
and then went off by himself through the rain.
It was all over.
They were married,
he prayed God.
Never since he was a boy had he felt so miserable and so lonely.
He longed with a heart-sick yearning for the first few days to be over,
that he might see her again.
Some ten days after the above ceremony,
three young men of our acquaintance were enjoying that beautiful prospect of bow windows on the one side and blue sea on the other,
which Brighton affords to the traveller.
Sometimes it is towards the ocean --smiling with countless dimples,
speckled with white sails,
with a hundred bathing-machines kissing the skirt of his blue garment --that the Londoner looks enraptured: sometimes,
on the contrary,
a lover of human nature rather than of prospects of any kind,
it is towards the bow windows that he turns,
and that swarm of human life which they exhibit.
From one issue the notes of a piano,
which a young lady in ringlets practises six hours daily,
to the delight of the fellow-lodgers: at another,
may be seen dandling Master Omnium in her arms: whilst Jacob,
is beheld eating prawns,
and devouring the Times for breakfast,
at the window below.
Yonder are the Misses Leery,
who are looking out for the young officers of the Heavies,
who are pretty sure to be pacing the cliff;
or again it is a City man,
with a nautical turn,
and a telescope,
the size of a six-pounder,
who has his instrument pointed seawards,
so as to command every pleasure-boat,
or bathing-machine that comes to,
But have we any leisure for a description of Brighton?
a clean Naples with genteel lazzaroni --for Brighton,
that always looks brisk,
like a harlequin's jacket --for Brighton,
which used to be seven hours distant from London at the time of our story;
which is now only a hundred minutes off;
and which may approach who knows how much nearer,
unless Joinville comes and untimely bombards it?
"What a monstrous fine girl that is in the lodgings over the milliner's,"
one of these three promenaders remarked to the other;
did you see what a wink she gave me as I passed?"
"Don't break her heart,
"Don't trifle with her affections,
you Don Juan!"
said Jos Sedley,
and leering up at the maid-servant in question with a most killing ogle.
Jos was even more splendid at Brighton than he had been at his sister's marriage.
He had brilliant under-waistcoats,
any one of which would have set up a moderate buck.
He sported a military frock-coat,
ornamented with frogs,
and meandering embroidery.
He had affected a military appearance and habits of late;
and he walked with his two friends,
who were of that profession,
clinking his boot-spurs,
and shooting death-glances at all the servant girls who were worthy to be slain.
"What shall we do,
till the ladies return?"
the buck asked.
The ladies were out to Rottingdean in his carriage on a drive.
"Let's have a game at billiards,"
one of his friends said --the tall one,
with lacquered mustachios.
"No billiards to-day,
yesterday was enough."
"You play very well,"
How well he made that-five stroke,
"Jos is a devil of a fellow at billiards,
and at everything else,
I wish there were any tiger-hunting about here!
we might go and kill a few before dinner.
(There goes a fine girl!
what an ankle,
Jos?) Tell us that story about the tiger-hunt,
and the way you did for him in the jungle --it's a wonderful story that,
Here George Osborne gave a yawn.
"It's rather slow work,"
what shall we do?"
"Shall we go and look at some horses that Snaffler's just brought from Lewes fair?"
"Suppose we go and have some jellies at Dutton's,"
and the rogue Jos,
willing to kill two birds with one stone.
"Devilish fine gal at Dutton's."
"Suppose we go and see the Lightning come in,
it's just about time?"
This advice prevailing over the stables and the jelly,
they turned towards the coach-office to witness the Lightning's arrival.
As they passed,
they met the carriage --Jos Sedley's open carriage,
with its magnificent armorial bearings --that splendid conveyance in which he used to drive,
about at Cheltonham,
majestic and solitary,
with his arms folded,
and his hat cocked;
with ladies by his side.
Two were in the carriage now: one a little person,
with light hair,
and dressed in the height of the fashion;
the other in a brown silk pelisse,
and a straw bonnet with pink ribbons,
with a rosy,
that did you good to behold.
She checked the carriage as it neared the three gentlemen,
after which exercise of authority she looked rather nervous,
and then began to blush most absurdly.
"We have had a delightful drive,
"and --and we're so glad to come back;
don't let him be late."
"Don't be leading our husbands into mischief,
wicked man you,"
shaking at Jos a pretty little finger covered with the neatest French kid glove.
"My dear Mrs. Crawley --Ah now!
upon my honour!"
was all Jos could ejaculate by way of reply;
but he managed to fall into a tolerable attitude,
with his head lying on his shoulder,
grinning upwards at his victim,
with one hand at his back,
which he supported on his cane,
and the other hand (the one with the diamond ring) fumbling in his shirt-frill and among his under-waistcoats.
As the carriage drove off he kissed the diamond hand to the fair ladies within.
He wished all Cheltenham,
could see him in that position,
waving his hand to such a beauty,
and in company with such a famous buck as Rawdon Crawley of the Guards.
Our young bride and bridegroom had chosen Brighton as the place where they would pass the first few days after their marriage;
and having engaged apartments at the Ship Inn,
enjoyed themselves there in great comfort and quietude,
until Jos presently joined them.
Nor was he the only companion they found there.
As they were coming into the hotel from a sea-side walk one afternoon,
on whom should they light but Rebecca and her husband.
The recognition was immediate.
Rebecca flew into the arms of her dearest friend.
Crawley and Osborne shook hands together cordially enough: and Becky,
in the course of a very few hours,
found means to make the latter forget that little unpleasant passage of words which had happened between them.
"Do you remember the last time we met at Miss Crawley's,
when I was so rude to you,
dear Captain Osborne?
I thought you seemed careless about dear Amelia.
It was that made me angry: and so pert: and so unkind: and so ungrateful.
Do forgive me!"
and she held out her hand with so frank and winning a grace,
that Osborne could not but take it.
By humbly and frankly acknowledging yourself to be in the wrong,
there is no knowing,
what good you may do.
I knew once a gentleman and very worthy practitioner in Vanity Fair,
who used to do little wrongs to his neighbours on purpose,
and in order to apologise for them in an open and manly way afterwards --and what ensued?
My friend Crocky Doyle was liked everywhere,
and deemed to be rather impetuous --but the honestest fellow.
Becky's humility passed for sincerity with George Osborne.
These two young couples had plenty of tales to relate to each other.
The marriages of either were discussed;
and their prospects in life canvassed with the greatest frankness and interest on both sides.
George's marriage was to be made known to his father by his friend Captain Dobbin;
and young Osborne trembled rather for the result of that communication.
on whom all Rawdon's hopes depended,
still held out.
Unable to make an entry into her house in Park Lane,
her affectionate nephew and niece had followed her to Brighton,
where they had emissaries continually planted at her door.
"I wish you could see some of Rawdon's friends who are always about our door,"
"Did you ever see a dun,
or a bailiff and his man?
Two of the abominable wretches watched all last week at the greengrocer's opposite,
and we could not get away until Sunday.
If Aunty does not relent,
what shall we do?"
with roars of laughter,
related a dozen amusing anecdotes of his duns,
and Rebecca's adroit treatment of them.
He vowed with a great oath that there was no woman in Europe who could talk a creditor over as she could.
Almost immediately after their marriage,
her practice had begun,
and her husband found the immense value of such a wife.
They had credit in plenty,
but they had bills also in abundance,
and laboured under a scarcity of ready money.
Did these debt-difficulties affect Rawdon's good spirits?
No. Everybody in Vanity Fair must have remarked how well those live who are comfortably and thoroughly in debt: how they deny themselves nothing;
how jolly and easy they are in their minds.
Rawdon and his wife had the very best apartments at the inn at Brighton;
as he brought in the first dish,
bowed before them as to his greatest customers: and Rawdon abused the dinners and wine with an audacity which no grandee in the land could surpass.
a manly appearance,
faultless boots and clothes,
and a happy fierceness of manner,
will often help a man as much as a great balance at the banker's.
The two wedding parties met constantly in each other's apartments.
After two or three nights the gentlemen of an evening had a little piquet,
as their wives sate and chatted apart.
and the arrival of Jos Sedley,
who made his appearance in his grand open carriage,
and who played a few games at billiards with Captain Crawley,
replenished Rawdon's purse somewhat,
and gave him the benefit of that ready money for which the greatest spirits are sometimes at a stand-still.
So the three gentlemen walked down to see the Lightning coach come in.
Punctual to the minute,
the coach crowded inside and out,
the guard blowing his accustomed tune on the horn --the Lightning came tearing down the street,
and pulled up at the coach-office.
there's old Dobbin,"
quite delighted to see his old friend perched on the roof;
and whose promised visit to Brighton had been delayed until now.
"How are you,
Glad you're come down.
Emmy'll be delighted to see you,"
shaking his comrade warmly by the hand as soon as his descent from the vehicle was effected --and then he added,
in a lower and agitated voice,
"What's the news?
Have you been in Russell Square?
What does the governor say?
Tell me everything."
Dobbin looked very pale and grave.
"I've seen your father,"
"How's Amelia --Mrs. George?
I'll tell you all the news presently: but I've brought the great news of all: and that is --"
"Out with it,
"We're ordered to Belgium.
All the army goes --guards and all.
Heavytop's got the gout,
and is mad at not being able to move.
O'Dowd goes in command,
and we embark from Chatham next week."
This news of war could not but come with a shock upon our lovers,
and caused all these gentlemen to look very serious.
Captain Dobbin Proceeds on His Canvass
What is the secret mesmerism which friendship possesses,
and under the operation of which a person ordinarily sluggish,
in another's behalf?
after a few passes from Dr. Elliotson,
reads with the back of his head,
sees miles off,
looks into next week,
and performs other wonders,
in his own private normal condition,
he is quite incapable;
so you see,
in the affairs of the world and under the magnetism of friendships,
the modest man becomes bold,
the shy confident,
the lazy active,
or the impetuous prudent and peaceful.
What is it,
on the other hand,
that makes the lawyer eschew his own cause,
and call in his learned brother as an adviser?
And what causes the doctor,
to send for his rival,
and not sit down and examine his own tongue in the chimney Bass,
or write his own prescription at his study-table?
I throw out these queries for intelligent readers to answer,
how credulous we are,
and how sceptical,
how soft and how obstinate,
how firm for others and how diffident about ourselves: meanwhile,
it is certain that our friend William Dobbin,
who was personally of so complying a disposition that if his parents had pressed him much,
it is probable he would have stepped down into the kitchen and married the cook,
to further his own interests,
would have found the most insuperable difficulty in walking across the street,
found himself as busy and eager in the conduct of George Osborne's affairs,
as the most selfish tactician could be in the pursuit of his own.
Whilst our friend George and his young wife were enjoying the first blushing days of the honeymoon at Brighton,
honest William was left as George's plenipotentiary in London,
to transact all the business part of the marriage.
His duty it was to call upon old Sedley and his wife,
and to keep the former in good humour: to draw Jos and his brother-in-law nearer together,
so that Jos's position and dignity,
as collector of Boggley Wollah,
might compensate for his father's loss of station,
and tend to reconcile old Osborne to the alliance: and finally,
to communicate it to the latter in such a way as should least irritate the old gentleman.
before he faced the head of the Osborne house with the news which it was his duty to tell,
Dobbin bethought him that it would be politic to make friends of the rest of the family,
have the ladies on his side.
They can't be angry in their hearts,
No woman ever was really angry at a romantic marriage.
A little crying out,
and they must come round to their brother;
when the three of us will lay siege to old Mr. Osborne.
So this Machiavellian captain of infantry cast about him for some happy means or stratagem by which he could gently and gradually bring the Misses Osborne to a knowledge of their brother's secret.
By a little inquiry regarding his mother's engagements,
he was pretty soon able to find out by whom of her ladyship's friends parties were given at that season;
where he would be likely to meet Osborne's sisters;
though he had that abhorrence of routs and evening parties which many sensible men,
he soon found one where the Misses Osborne were to be present.
Making his appearance at the ball,
where he danced a couple of sets with both of them,
and was prodigiously polite,
he actually had the courage to ask Miss Osborne for a few minutes' conversation at an early hour the next day,
when he had,
to communicate to her news of the very greatest interest.
What was it that made her start back,
and gaze upon him for a moment,
and then on the ground at her feet,
and make as if she would faint on his arm,
had he not by opportunely treading on her toes,
brought the young lady back to self-control?
Why was she so violently agitated at Dobbin's request?
This can never be known.
But when he came the next day,
Maria was not in the drawing-room with her sister,
and Miss Wirt went off for the purpose of fetching the latter,
and the Captain and Miss Osborne were left together.
They were both so silent that the ticktock of the Sacrifice of Iphigenia clock on the mantelpiece became quite rudely audible.
"What a nice party it was last night,"
Miss Osborne at length began,
"and --and how you're improved in your dancing,
Surely somebody has taught you,"
with amiable archness.
"You should see me dance a reel with Mrs. Major O'Dowd of ours;
and a jig --did you ever see a jig?
But I think anybody could dance with you,
who dance so well."
"Is the Major's lady young and beautiful,
the fair questioner continued.
what a terrible thing it must be to be a soldier's wife!
I wonder they have any spirits to dance,
and in these dreadful times of war,
O Captain Dobbin,
I tremble sometimes when I think of our dearest George,
and the dangers of the poor soldier.
Are there many married officers of the --th,
"Upon my word,
she's playing her hand rather too openly,"
Miss Wirt thought;
but this observation is merely parenthetic,
and was not heard through the crevice of the door at which the governess uttered it.
"One of our young men is just married,"
now coming to the point.
"It was a very old attachment,
and the young couple are as poor as church mice."
Miss Osborne cried,
as the Captain said "old attachment" and "poor."
Her sympathy encouraged him.
"The finest young fellow in the regiment,"
"Not a braver or handsomer officer in the army;
and such a charming wife!
How you would like her!
how you will like her when you know her,
The young lady thought the actual moment had arrived,
and that Dobbin's nervousness which now came on and was visible in many twitchings of his face,
in his manner of beating the ground with his great feet,
in the rapid buttoning and unbuttoning of his frock-coat,
thought that when he had given himself a little air,
he would unbosom himself entirely,
and prepared eagerly to listen.
And the clock,
in the altar on which Iphigenia was situated,
after a preparatory convulsion,
to toll twelve,
the mere tolling seemed as if it would last until one --so prolonged was the knell to the anxious spinster.
"But it's not about marriage that I came to speak --that is that marriage --that is --no,
I mean --my dear Miss Osborne,
it's about our dear friend George,"
she said in a tone so discomfited that Maria and Miss Wirt laughed at the other side of the door,
and even that abandoned wretch of a Dobbin felt inclined to smile himself;
for he was not altogether unconscious of the state of affairs: George having often bantered him gracefully and said,
why don't you take old Jane?
She'll have you if you ask her.
I'll bet you five to two she will."
"There has been a difference between him and Mr. Osborne.
And I regard him so much --for you know we have been like brothers --that I hope and pray the quarrel may be settled.
We must go abroad,
We may be ordered off at a day's warning.
Who knows what may happen in the campaign?
Don't be agitated,
dear Miss Osborne;
and those two at least should part friends."
"There has been no quarrel,
except a little usual scene with Papa,"
the lady said.
"We are expecting George back daily.
What Papa wanted was only for his good.
He has but to come back,
and I'm sure all will be well;
and dear Rhoda,
who went away from here in sad sad anger,
I know will forgive him.
Woman forgives but too readily,
"Such an angel as YOU I am sure would,"
Mr. Dobbin said,
with atrocious astuteness.
"And no man can pardon himself for giving a woman pain.
What would you feel,
if a man were faithless to you?"
"I should perish --I should throw myself out of window --I should take poison --I should pine and die.
I know I should,"
who had nevertheless gone through one or two affairs of the heart without any idea of suicide.
"And there are others,"
"as true and as kind-hearted as yourself.
I'm not speaking about the West Indian heiress,
but about a poor girl whom George once loved,
and who was bred from her childhood to think of nobody but him.
I've seen her in her poverty uncomplaining,
without a fault.
It is of Miss Sedley I speak.
Dear Miss Osborne,
can your generous heart quarrel with your brother for being faithful to her?
Could his own conscience ever forgive him if he deserted her?
Be her friend --she always loved you --and --and I am come here charged by George to tell you that he holds his engagement to her as the most sacred duty he has;
and to entreat you,
to be on his side."
When any strong emotion took possession of Mr. Dobbin,
and after the first word or two of hesitation,
he could speak with perfect fluency,
and it was evident that his eloquence on this occasion made some impression upon the lady whom he addressed.
"this is --most surprising --most painful --most extraordinary --what will Papa say?
--that George should fling away such a superb establishment as was offered to him but at any rate he has found a very brave champion in you,
It is of no use,
after a pause;
"I feel for poor Miss Sedley,
most certainly --most sincerely,
We never thought the match a good one,
though we were always very kind to her here --very.
But Papa will never consent,
I am sure.
And a well brought up young woman,
you know --with a well-regulated mind,
must --George must give her up,
dear Captain Dobbin,
indeed he must."
"Ought a man to give up the woman he loved,
just when misfortune befell her?"
holding out his hand.
"Dear Miss Osborne,
is this the counsel I hear from you?
My dear young lady!
you must befriend her.
He can't give her up.
He must not give her up.
Would a man,
give YOU up if you were poor?"
This adroit question touched the heart of Miss Jane Osborne not a little.
"I don't know whether we poor girls ought to believe what you men say,
"There is that in woman's tenderness which induces her to believe too easily.
I'm afraid you are cruel,
--and Dobbin certainly thought he felt a pressure of the hand which Miss Osborne had extended to him.
He dropped it in some alarm.
dear Miss Osborne,
all men are not;
your brother is not;
George has loved Amelia Sedley ever since they were children;
no wealth would make him marry any but her.
Ought he to forsake her?
Would you counsel him to do so?"
What could Miss Jane say to such a question,
and with her own peculiar views?
She could not answer it,
so she parried it by saying,
if you are not a deceiver,
at least you are very romantic";
and Captain William let this observation pass without challenge.
At length when,
by the help of farther polite speeches,
he deemed that Miss Osborne was sufficiently prepared to receive the whole news,
he poured it into her ear.
"George could not give up Amelia --George was married to her" --and then he related the circumstances of the marriage as we know them already: how the poor girl would have died had not her lover kept his faith: how Old Sedley had refused all consent to the match,
and a licence had been got: and Jos Sedley had come from Cheltenham to give away the bride: how they had gone to Brighton in Jos's chariot-and-four to pass the honeymoon: and how George counted on his dear kind sisters to befriend him with their father,
as women --so true and tender as they were --assuredly would do.
asking permission (readily granted) to see her again,
and rightly conjecturing that the news he had brought would be told in the next five minutes to the other ladies,
Captain Dobbin made his bow and took his leave.
He was scarcely out of the house,
when Miss Maria and Miss Wirt rushed in to Miss Osborne,
and the whole wonderful secret was imparted to them by that lady.
To do them justice,
neither of the sisters was very much displeased.
There is something about a runaway match with which few ladies can be seriously angry,
and Amelia rather rose in their estimation,
from the spirit which she had displayed in consenting to the union.
As they debated the story,
and prattled about it,
and wondered what Papa would do and say,
came a loud knock,
as of an avenging thunder-clap,
at the door,
which made these conspirators start.
It must be Papa,
But it was not he.
It was only Mr. Frederick Bullock,
who had come from the City according to appointment,
to conduct the ladies to a flower-show.
as may be imagined,
was not kept long in ignorance of the secret.
But his face,
when he heard it,
showed an amazement which was very different to that look of sentimental wonder which the countenances of the sisters wore.
Mr. Bullock was a man of the world,
and a junior partner of a wealthy firm.
He knew what money was,
and the value of it: and a delightful throb of expectation lighted up his little eyes,
and caused him to smile on his Maria,
as he thought that by this piece of folly of Mr. George's she might be worth thirty thousand pounds more than he had ever hoped to get with her.
surveying even the elder sister with some interest,
"Eels will be sorry he cried off.
You may be a fifty thousand pounder yet."
The sisters had never thought of the money question up to that moment,
but Fred Bullock bantered them with graceful gaiety about it during their forenoon's excursion;
and they had risen not a little in their own esteem by the time when,
the morning amusement over,
they drove back to dinner.
And do not let my respected reader exclaim against this selfishness as unnatural.
It was but this present morning,
as he rode on the omnibus from Richmond;
while it changed horses,
this present chronicler,
being on the roof,
marked three little children playing in a puddle below,
To these three presently came another little one.
"YOUR SISTER'S GOT A PENNY."
At which the children got up from the puddle instantly,
and ran off to pay their court to Peggy.
And as the omnibus drove off I saw Peggy with the infantine procession at her tail,
marching with great dignity towards the stall of a neighbouring lollipop-woman.
In Which Mr. Osborne Takes Down the Family Bible
So having prepared the sisters,
Dobbin hastened away to the City to perform the rest and more difficult part of the task which he had undertaken.
The idea of facing old Osborne rendered him not a little nervous,
and more than once he thought of leaving the young ladies to communicate the secret,
as he was aware,
they could not long retain.
But he had promised to report to George upon the manner in which the elder Osborne bore the intelligence;
so going into the City to the paternal counting-house in Thames Street,
he despatched thence a note to Mr. Osborne begging for a half-hour's conversation relative to the affairs of his son George.
Dobbin's messenger returned from Mr. Osborne's house of business,
with the compliments of the latter,
who would be very happy to see the Captain immediately,
and away accordingly Dobbin went to confront him.
with a half-guilty secret to confess,
and with the prospect of a painful and stormy interview before him,
entered Mr. Osborne's offices with a most dismal countenance and abashed gait,
passing through the outer room where Mr. Chopper presided,
was greeted by that functionary from his desk with a waggish air which farther discomfited him.
Mr. Chopper winked and nodded and pointed his pen towards his patron's door,
"You'll find the governor all right,"
with the most provoking good humour.
Osborne rose too,
and shook him heartily by the hand,
my dear boy?"
with a cordiality that made poor George's ambassador feel doubly guilty.
His hand lay as if dead in the old gentleman's grasp.
He felt that he,
was more or less the cause of all that had happened.
It was he had brought back George to Amelia: it was he had applauded,
transacted almost the marriage which he was come to reveal to George's father: and the latter was receiving him with smiles of welcome;
patting him on the shoulder,
and calling him "Dobbin,
my dear boy."
The envoy had indeed good reason to hang his head.
Osborne fully believed that Dobbin had come to announce his son's surrender.
Mr. Chopper and his principal were talking over the matter between George and his father,
at the very moment when Dobbin's messenger arrived.
Both agreed that George was sending in his submission.
Both had been expecting it for some days --and "Lord!
what a marriage we'll have!"
Mr. Osborne said to his clerk,
snapping his big fingers,
and jingling all the guineas and shillings in his great pockets as he eyed his subordinate with a look of triumph.
With similar operations conducted in both pockets,
and a knowing jolly air,
Osborne from his chair regarded Dobbin seated blank and silent opposite to him.
"What a bumpkin he is for a Captain in the army,"
old Osborne thought.
"I wonder George hasn't taught him better manners."
At last Dobbin summoned courage to begin.
"I've brought you some very grave news.
I have been at the Horse Guards this morning,
and there's no doubt that our regiment will be ordered abroad,
and on its way to Belgium before the week is over.
And you know,
that we shan't be home again before a tussle which may be fatal to many of us."
Osborne looked grave.
"My s --,
the regiment will do its duty,
"The French are very strong,
Dobbin went on.
"The Russians and Austrians will be a long time before they can bring their troops down.
We shall have the first of the fight,
and depend on it Boney will take care that it shall be a hard one."
"What are you driving at,
his interlocutor said,
uneasy and with a scowl.
"I suppose no Briton's afraid of any d -- -- Frenchman,
"I only mean,
that before we go,
and considering the great and certain risk that hangs over every one of us --if there are any differences between you and George --it would be as well,
that --that you should shake hands: wouldn't it?
Should anything happen to him,
I think you would never forgive yourself if you hadn't parted in charity."
As he said this,
poor William Dobbin blushed crimson,
and felt and owned that he himself was a traitor.
But for him,
this severance need never have taken place.
Why had not George's marriage been delayed?
What call was there to press it on so eagerly?
He felt that George would have parted from Amelia at any rate without a mortal pang.
MIGHT have recovered the shock of losing him.
It was his counsel had brought about this marriage,
and all that was to ensue from it.
And why was it?
Because he loved her so much that he could not bear to see her unhappy: or because his own sufferings of suspense were so unendurable that he was glad to crush them at once --as we hasten a funeral after a death,
when a separation from those we love is imminent,
cannot rest until the parting be over.
"You are a good fellow,
said Mr. Osborne in a softened voice;
"and me and George shouldn't part in anger,
that is true.
I've done for him as much as any father ever did.
He's had three times as much money from me,
as I warrant your father ever gave you.
But I don't brag about that.
How I've toiled for him,
and worked and employed my talents and energy,
I won't say.
Ask the City of London.
I propose to him such a marriage as any nobleman in the land might be proud of --the only thing in life I ever asked him --and he refuses me.
Am I wrong?
Is the quarrel of MY making?
What do I seek but his good,
for which I've been toiling like a convict ever since he was born?
Nobody can say there's anything selfish in me.
Let him come back.
here's my hand.
forget and forgive.
As for marrying now,
it's out of the question.
Let him and Miss S. make it up,
and make out the marriage afterwards,
when he comes back a Colonel;
for he shall be a Colonel,
by G -- he shall,
if money can do it.
I'm glad you've brought him round.
I know it's you,
You've took him out of many a scrape before.
Let him come.
I shan't be hard.
and dine in Russell Square to-day: both of you.
The old shop,
the old hour.
You'll find a neck of venison,
and no questions asked."
This praise and confidence smote Dobbin's heart very keenly.
Every moment the colloquy continued in this tone,
he felt more and more guilty.
"I fear you deceive yourself.
I am sure you do.
George is much too high-minded a man ever to marry for money.
A threat on your part that you would disinherit him in case of disobedience would only be followed by resistance on his."
you don't call offering him eight or ten thousand a year threatening him?"
Mr. Osborne said,
with still provoking good humour.
if Miss S. will have me,
I'm her man.
I ain't particular about a shade or so of tawny."
And the old gentleman gave his knowing grin and coarse laugh.
previous engagements into which Captain Osborne had entered,"
the ambassador said,
What the devil do you mean?
You don't mean,"
Mr. Osborne continued,
gathering wrath and astonishment as the thought now first came upon him;
"you don't mean that he's such a d -- -- fool as to be still hankering after that swindling old bankrupt's daughter?
You've not come here for to make me suppose that he wants to marry HER?
that IS a good one.
My son and heir marry a beggar's girl out of a gutter.
D -- -- him,
if he does,
let him buy a broom and sweep a crossing.
She was always dangling and ogling after him,
I recollect now;
and I've no doubt she was put on by her old sharper of a father."
"Mr. Sedley was your very good friend,
almost pleased at finding himself growing angry.
"Time was you called him better names than rogue and swindler.
The match was of your making.
George had no right to play fast and loose --"
"Fast and loose!"
howled out old Osborne.
"Fast and loose!
those are the very words my gentleman used himself when he gave himself airs,
last Thursday was a fortnight,
and talked about the British army to his father who made him.
it's you who have been a setting of him up --is it?
and my service to you,
It's you who want to introduce beggars into my family.
Thank you for nothing,
Marry HER indeed --he,
why should he?
I warrant you she'd go to him fast enough without."
starting up in undisguised anger;
"no man shall abuse that lady in my hearing,
and you least of all."
you're a-going to call me out,
let me ring the bell for pistols for two.
Mr. George sent you here to insult his father,
pulling at the bell-cord.
with a faltering voice,
"it's you who are insulting the best creature in the world.
You had best spare her,
for she's your son's wife."
And with this,
feeling that he could say no more,
Dobbin went away,
Osborne sinking back in his chair,
and looking wildly after him.
A clerk came in,
obedient to the bell;
and the Captain was scarcely out of the court where Mr. Osborne's offices were,
when Mr. Chopper the chief clerk came rushing hatless after him.
"For God's sake,
what is it?"
Mr. Chopper said,
catching the Captain by the skirt.
"The governor's in a fit.
What has Mr. George been doing?"
"He married Miss Sedley five days ago,"
"I was his groomsman,
and you must stand his friend."
The old clerk shook his head.
"If that's your news,
The governor will never forgive him."
Dobbin begged Chopper to report progress to him at the hotel where he was stopping,
and walked off moodily westwards,
greatly perturbed as to the past and the future.
When the Russell Square family came to dinner that evening,
they found the father of the house seated in his usual place,
but with that air of gloom on his face,
whenever it appeared there,
kept the whole circle silent.
and Mr. Bullock who dined with them,
felt that the news had been communicated to Mr. Osborne.
His dark looks affected Mr. Bullock so far as to render him still and quiet: but he was unusually bland and attentive to Miss Maria,
by whom he sat,
and to her sister presiding at the head of the table.
was alone on her side of the board,
a gap being left between her and Miss Jane Osborne.
Now this was George's place when he dined at home;
and his cover,
as we said,
was laid for him in expectation of that truant's return.
Nothing occurred during dinner-time except smiling Mr. Frederick's flagging confidential whispers,
and the clinking of plate and china,
to interrupt the silence of the repast.
The servants went about stealthily doing their duty.
Mutes at funerals could not look more glum than the domestics of Mr. Osborne The neck of venison of which he had invited Dobbin to partake,
was carved by him in perfect silence;
but his own share went away almost untasted,
though he drank much,
and the butler assiduously filled his glass.
just at the end of the dinner,
which had been staring at everybody in turn,
fixed themselves for a while upon the plate laid for George.
He pointed to it presently with his left hand.
His daughters looked at him and did not comprehend,
or choose to comprehend,
nor did the servants at first understand it.
"Take that plate away,"
at last he said,
getting up with an oath --and with this pushing his chair back,
he walked into his own room.
Behind Mr. Osborne's dining-room was the usual apartment which went in his house by the name of the study;
and was sacred to the master of the house.
Hither Mr. Osborne would retire of a Sunday forenoon when not minded to go to church;
and here pass the morning in his crimson leather chair,
reading the paper.
A couple of glazed book-cases were here,
containing standard works in stout gilt bindings.
The "Annual Register,"
the "Gentleman's Magazine,"
and "Hume and Smollett."
From year's end to year's end he never took one of these volumes from the shelf;
but there was no member of the family that would dare for his life to touch one of the books,
except upon those rare Sunday evenings when there was no dinner-party,
and when the great scarlet Bible and Prayer-book were taken out from the corner where they stood beside his copy of the Peerage,
and the servants being rung up to the dining parlour,
Osborne read the evening service to his family in a loud grating pompous voice.
No member of the household,
ever entered that room without a certain terror.
Here he checked the housekeeper's accounts,
and overhauled the butler's cellar-book.
Hence he could command,
across the clean gravel court-yard,
the back entrance of the stables with which one of his bells communicated,
and into this yard the coachman issued from his premises as into a dock,
and Osborne swore at him from the study window.
Four times a year Miss Wirt entered this apartment to get her salary;
and his daughters to receive their quarterly allowance.
George as a boy had been horsewhipped in this room many times;
his mother sitting sick on the stair listening to the cuts of the whip.
The boy was scarcely ever known to cry under the punishment;
the poor woman used to fondle and kiss him secretly,
and give him money to soothe him when he came out.
There was a picture of the family over the mantelpiece,
removed thither from the front room after Mrs. Osborne's death --George was on a pony,
the elder sister holding him up a bunch of flowers;
the younger led by her mother's hand;
all with red cheeks and large red mouths,
simpering on each other in the approved family-portrait manner.
The mother lay underground now,
long since forgotten --the sisters and brother had a hundred different interests of their own,
were utterly estranged from each other.
Some few score of years afterwards,
when all the parties represented are grown old,
what bitter satire there is in those flaunting childish family-portraits,
with their farce of sentiment and smiling lies,
and innocence so self-conscious and self-satisfied.
Osborne's own state portrait,
with that of his great silver inkstand and arm-chair,
had taken the place of honour in the dining-room,
vacated by the family-piece.
To this study old Osborne retired then,
greatly to the relief of the small party whom he left.
When the servants had withdrawn,
they began to talk for a while volubly but very low;
then they went upstairs quietly,
Mr. Bullock accompanying them stealthily on his creaking shoes.
He had no heart to sit alone drinking wine,
and so close to the terrible old gentleman in the study hard at hand.
An hour at least after dark,
not having received any summons,
ventured to tap at his door and take him in wax candles and tea.
The master of the house sate in his chair,
pretending to read the paper,
and when the servant,
placing the lights and refreshment on the table by him,
Mr. Osborne got up and locked the door after him.
This time there was no mistaking the matter;
all the household knew that some great catastrophe was going to happen which was likely direly to affect Master George.
In the large shining mahogany escritoire Mr. Osborne had a drawer especially devoted to his son's affairs and papers.
Here he kept all the documents relating to him ever since he had been a boy: here were his prize copy-books and drawing-books,
all bearing George's hand,
and that of the master: here were his first letters in large round-hand sending his love to papa and mamma,
and conveying his petitions for a cake.
His dear godpapa Sedley was more than once mentioned in them.
Curses quivered on old Osborne's livid lips,
and horrid hatred and disappointment writhed in his heart,
as looking through some of these papers he came on that name.
They were all marked and docketed,
and tied with red tape.
It was --"From Georgy,
April 25" --or "Georgy about a pony,
October 13" --and so forth.
In another packet were "Dr. S.'s accounts" --"G.'s tailor's bills and outfits,
drafts on me by G. Osborne,
--his letters from the West Indies --his agent's letters,
and the newspapers containing his commissions: here was a whip he had when a boy,
and in a paper a locket containing his hair,
which his mother used to wear.
Turning one over after another,
and musing over these memorials,
the unhappy man passed many hours.
His dearest vanities,
had all been here.
What pride he had in his boy!
He was the handsomest child ever seen.
Everybody said he was like a nobleman's son.
A royal princess had remarked him,
and kissed him,
and asked his name in Kew Gardens.
What City man could show such another?
Could a prince have been better cared for?
Anything that money could buy had been his son's.
He used to go down on speech-days with four horses and new liveries,
and scatter new shillings among the boys at the school where George was: when he went with George to the depot of his regiment,
before the boy embarked for Canada,
he gave the officers such a dinner as the Duke of York might have sat down to.
Had he ever refused a bill when George drew one?
There they were --paid without a word.
Many a general in the army couldn't ride the horses he had!
He had the child before his eyes,
on a hundred different days when he remembered George after dinner,
when he used to come in as bold as a lord and drink off his glass by his father's side,
at the head of the table --on the pony at Brighton,
when he cleared the hedge and kept up with the huntsman --on the day when he was presented to the Prince Regent at the levee,
when all Saint James's couldn't produce a finer young fellow.
this was the end of all!
--to marry a bankrupt and fly in the face of duty and fortune!
What humiliation and fury: what pangs of sickening rage,
balked ambition and love;
what wounds of outraged vanity,
had this old worldling now to suffer under!
Having examined these papers,
and pondered over this one and the other,
in that bitterest of all helpless woe,
with which miserable men think of happy past times --George's father took the whole of the documents out of the drawer in which he had kept them so long,
and locked them into a writing-box,
which he tied,
and sealed with his seal.
Then he opened the book-case,
and took down the great red Bible we have spoken of a pompous book,
seldom looked at,
and shining all over with gold.
There was a frontispiece to the volume,
representing Abraham sacrificing Isaac.
according to custom,
Osborne had recorded on the fly-leaf,
and in his large clerk-like hand,
the dates of his marriage and his wife's death,
and the births and Christian names of his children.
Jane came first,
then George Sedley Osborne,
then Maria Frances,
and the days of the christening of each.
Taking a pen,
he carefully obliterated George's names from the page;
and when the leaf was quite dry,
restored the volume to the place from which he had moved it.
Then he took a document out of another drawer,
where his own private papers were kept;
and having read it,
crumpled it up and lighted it at one of the candles,
and saw it burn entirely away in the grate.
It was his will;
which being burned,
he sate down and wrote off a letter,
and rang for his servant,
whom he charged to deliver it in the morning.
It was morning already: as he went up to bed,
the whole house was alight with the sunshine;
and the birds were singing among the fresh green leaves in Russell Square.
Anxious to keep all Mr. Osborne's family and dependants in good humour,
and to make as many friends as possible for George in his hour of adversity,
who knew the effect which good dinners and good wines have upon the soul of man,
wrote off immediately on his return to his inn the most hospitable of invitations to Thomas Chopper,
begging that gentleman to dine with him at the Slaughters' next day.
The note reached Mr. Chopper before he left the City,
and the instant reply was,
that "Mr. Chopper presents his respectful compliments,
and will have the honour and pleasure of waiting on Captain D."
The invitation and the rough draft of the answer were shown to Mrs. Chopper and her daughters on his return to Somers' Town that evening,
and they talked about military gents and West End men with great exultation as the family sate and partook of tea.
When the girls had gone to rest,
Mr. and Mrs. C. discoursed upon the strange events which were occurring in the governor's family.
Never had the clerk seen his principal so moved.
When he went in to Mr. Osborne,
after Captain Dobbin's departure,
Mr. Chopper found his chief black in the face,
and all but in a fit: some dreadful quarrel,
he was certain,
had occurred between Mr. O. and the young Captain.
Chopper had been instructed to make out an account of all sums paid to Captain Osborne within the last three years.
"And a precious lot of money he has had too,"
the chief clerk said,
and respected his old and young master the more,
for the liberal way in which the guineas had been flung about.
The dispute was something about Miss Sedley.
Mrs. Chopper vowed and declared she pitied that poor young lady to lose such a handsome young fellow as the Capting.
As the daughter of an unlucky speculator,
who had paid a very shabby dividend,
Mr. Chopper had no great regard for Miss Sedley.
He respected the house of Osborne before all others in the City of London: and his hope and wish was that Captain George should marry a nobleman's daughter.
The clerk slept a great deal sounder than his principal that night;
cuddling his children after breakfast (of which he partook with a very hearty appetite,
though his modest cup of life was only sweetened with brown sugar),
he set off in his best Sunday suit and frilled shirt for business,
promising his admiring wife not to punish Captain D.'s port too severely that evening.
Mr. Osborne's countenance,
when he arrived in the City at his usual time,
struck those dependants who were accustomed,
for good reasons,
to watch its expression,
as peculiarly ghastly and worn.
At twelve o'clock Mr. Higgs (of the firm of Higgs & Blatherwick,
Bedford Row) called by appointment,
and was ushered into the governor's private room,
and closeted there for more than an hour.
At about one Mr. Chopper received a note brought by Captain Dobbin's man,
and containing an inclosure for Mr. Osborne,
which the clerk went in and delivered.
A short time afterwards Mr. Chopper and Mr. Birch,
the next clerk,
and requested to witness a paper.
"I've been making a new will,"
Mr. Osborne said,
to which these gentlemen appended their names accordingly.
No conversation passed.
Mr. Higgs looked exceedingly grave as he came into the outer rooms,
and very hard in Mr. Chopper's face;
but there were not any explanations.
It was remarked that Mr. Osborne was particularly quiet and gentle all day,
to the surprise of those who had augured ill from his darkling demeanour.
He called no man names that day,
and was not heard to swear once.
He left business early;
and before going away,
summoned his chief clerk once more,
and having given him general instructions,
after some seeming hesitation and reluctance to speak,
if he knew whether Captain Dobbin was in town?
Chopper said he believed he was.
Indeed both of them knew the fact perfectly.
Osborne took a letter directed to that officer,
and giving it to the clerk,
requested the latter to deliver it into Dobbin's own hands immediately.
taking his hat,
and with a strange look,
"my mind will be easy."
Exactly as the clock struck two (there was no doubt an appointment between the pair) Mr. Frederick Bullock called,
and he and Mr. Osborne walked away together.
The Colonel of the --th regiment,
in which Messieurs Dobbin and Osborne had companies,
was an old General who had made his first campaign under Wolfe at Quebec,
and was long since quite too old and feeble for command;
but he took some interest in the regiment of which he was the nominal head,
and made certain of his young officers welcome at his table,
a kind of hospitality which I believe is not now common amongst his brethren.
Captain Dobbin was an especial favourite of this old General.
Dobbin was versed in the literature of his profession,
and could talk about the great Frederick,
and the Empress Queen,
and their wars,
almost as well as the General himself,
who was indifferent to the triumphs of the present day,
and whose heart was with the tacticians of fifty years back.
This officer sent a summons to Dobbin to come and breakfast with him,
on the morning when Mr. Osborne altered his will and Mr. Chopper put on his best shirt frill,
and then informed his young favourite,
a couple of days in advance,
of that which they were all expecting --a marching order to go to Belgium.
The order for the regiment to hold itself in readiness would leave the Horse Guards in a day or two;
and as transports were in plenty,
they would get their route before the week was over.
Recruits had come in during the stay of the regiment at Chatham;
and the old General hoped that the regiment which had helped to beat Montcalm in Canada,
and to rout Mr. Washington on Long Island,
would prove itself worthy of its historical reputation on the oft-trodden battle-grounds of the Low Countries.
my good friend,
if you have any affaire la,"
said the old General,
taking a pinch of snuff with his trembling white old hand,
and then pointing to the spot of his robe de chambre under which his heart was still feebly beating,
"if you have any Phillis to console,
or to bid farewell to papa and mamma,
or any will to make,
I recommend you to set about your business without delay."
With which the General gave his young friend a finger to shake,
and a good-natured nod of his powdered and pigtailed head;
and the door being closed upon Dobbin,
sate down to pen a poulet (he was exceedingly vain of his French) to Mademoiselle Amenaide of His Majesty's Theatre.
This news made Dobbin grave,
and he thought of our friends at Brighton,
and then he was ashamed of himself that Amelia was always the first thing in his thoughts (always before anybody --before father and mother,
sisters and duty --always at waking and sleeping indeed,
and all day long);
and returning to his hotel,
he sent off a brief note to Mr. Osborne acquainting him with the information which he had received,
and which might tend farther,
to bring about a reconciliation with George.
despatched by the same messenger who had carried the invitation to Chopper on the previous day,
alarmed the worthy clerk not a little.
It was inclosed to him,
and as he opened the letter he trembled lest the dinner should be put off on which he was calculating.
His mind was inexpressibly relieved when he found that the envelope was only a reminder for himself.
("I shall expect you at half-past five,"
Captain Dobbin wrote.)
He was very much interested about his employer's family;
a grand dinner was of more concern to him than the affairs of any other mortal.
Dobbin was quite justified in repeating the General's information to any officers of the regiment whom he should see in the course of his peregrinations;
accordingly he imparted it to Ensign Stubble,
whom he met at the agent's,
and who --such was his military ardour --went off instantly to purchase a new sword at the accoutrement-maker's.
Here this young fellow,
though only seventeen years of age,
and about sixty-five inches high,
with a constitution naturally rickety and much impaired by premature brandy and water,
had an undoubted courage and a lion's heart,
and balanced a weapon such as he thought would do execution amongst Frenchmen.
and stamping his little feet with tremendous energy,
he delivered the point twice or thrice at Captain Dobbin,
who parried the thrust laughingly with his bamboo walking-stick.
as may be supposed from his size and slenderness,
was of the Light Bobs.
on the contrary,
was a tall youth,
and belonged to (Captain Dobbin's) the Grenadier Company,
and he tried on a new bearskin cap,
under which he looked savage beyond his years.
Then these two lads went off to the Slaughters',
and having ordered a famous dinner,
sate down and wrote off letters to the kind anxious parents at home --letters full of love and heartiness,
and pluck and bad spelling.
there were many anxious hearts beating through England at that time;
and mothers' prayers and tears flowing in many homesteads.
Seeing young Stubble engaged in composition at one of the coffee-room tables at the Slaughters',
and the tears trickling down his nose on to the paper (for the youngster was thinking of his mamma,
and that he might never see her again),
who was going to write off a letter to George Osborne,
and locked up his desk.
"Why should I?"
"Let her have this night happy.
I'll go and see my parents early in the morning,
and go down to Brighton myself to-morrow."
So he went up and laid his big hand on young Stubble's shoulder,
and backed up that young champion,
and told him if he would leave off brandy and water he would be a good soldier,
as he always was a gentlemanly good-hearted fellow.
Young Stubble's eyes brightened up at this,
for Dobbin was greatly respected in the regiment,
as the best officer and the cleverest man in it.
rubbing his eyes with his knuckles,
"I was just --just telling her I would.
she's so dam kind to me."
The water pumps were at work again,
and I am not sure that the soft-hearted Captain's eyes did not also twinkle.
The two ensigns,
and Mr. Chopper,
dined together in the same box.
Chopper brought the letter from Mr. Osborne,
in which the latter briefly presented his compliments to Captain Dobbin,
and requested him to forward the inclosed to Captain George Osborne.
Chopper knew nothing further;
he described Mr. Osborne's appearance,
it is true,
and his interview with his lawyer,
wondered how the governor had sworn at nobody,
and --especially as the wine circled round --abounded in speculations and conjectures.
But these grew more vague with every glass,
and at length became perfectly unintelligible.
At a late hour Captain Dobbin put his guest into a hackney coach,
in a hiccupping state,
and swearing that he would be the kick --the kick --Captain's friend for ever and ever.
When Captain Dobbin took leave of Miss Osborne we have said that he asked leave to come and pay her another visit,
and the spinster expected him for some hours the next day,
had he come,
and had he asked her that question which she was prepared to answer,
she would have declared herself as her brother's friend,
and a reconciliation might have been effected between George and his angry father.
But though she waited at home the Captain never came.
He had his own affairs to pursue;
his own parents to visit and console;
and at an early hour of the day to take his place on the Lightning coach,
and go down to his friends at Brighton.
In the course of the day Miss Osborne heard her father give orders that that meddling scoundrel,
should never be admitted within his doors again,
and any hopes in which she may have indulged privately were thus abruptly brought to an end.
Mr. Frederick Bullock came,
and was particularly affectionate to Maria,
and attentive to the broken-spirited old gentleman.
For though he said his mind would be easy,
the means which he had taken to secure quiet did not seem to have succeeded as yet,
and the events of the past two days had visibly shattered him.
In Which All the Principal Personages Think Fit to Leave Brighton
Conducted to the ladies,
at the Ship Inn,
Dobbin assumed a jovial and rattling manner,
which proved that this young officer was becoming a more consummate hypocrite every day of his life.
He was trying to hide his own private feelings,
first upon seeing Mrs. George Osborne in her new condition,
and secondly to mask the apprehensions he entertained as to the effect which the dismal news brought down by him would certainly have upon her.
"It is my opinion,
"that the French Emperor will be upon us,
horse and foot,
before three weeks are over,
and will give the Duke such a dance as shall make the Peninsula appear mere child's play.
But you need not say that to Mrs. Osborne,
There mayn't be any fighting on our side after all,
and our business in Belgium may turn out to be a mere military occupation.
Many persons think so;
and Brussels is full of fine people and ladies of fashion."
So it was agreed to represent the duty of the British army in Belgium in this harmless light to Amelia.
This plot being arranged,
the hypocritical Dobbin saluted Mrs. George Osborne quite gaily,
tried to pay her one or two compliments relative to her new position as a bride (which compliments,
it must be confessed,
were exceedingly clumsy and hung fire woefully),
and then fell to talking about Brighton,
and the sea-air,
and the gaieties of the place,
and the beauties of the road and the merits of the Lightning coach and horses --all in a manner quite incomprehensible to Amelia,
and very amusing to Rebecca,
who was watching the Captain,
as indeed she watched every one near whom she came.
it must be owned,
had rather a mean opinion of her husband's friend,
He lisped --he was very plain and homely-looking: and exceedingly awkward and ungainly.
She liked him for his attachment to her husband (to be sure there was very little merit in that),
and she thought George was most generous and kind in extending his friendship to his brother officer.
George had mimicked Dobbin's lisp and queer manners many times to her,
though to do him justice,
he always spoke most highly of his friend's good qualities.
In her little day of triumph,
and not knowing him intimately as yet,
she made light of honest William --and he knew her opinions of him quite well,
and acquiesced in them very humbly.
A time came when she knew him better,
and changed her notions regarding him;
but that was distant as yet.
As for Rebecca,
Captain Dobbin had not been two hours in the ladies' company before she understood his secret perfectly.
She did not like him,
and feared him privately;
nor was he very much prepossessed in her favour.
He was so honest,
that her arts and cajoleries did not affect him,
and he shrank from her with instinctive repulsion.
as she was by no means so far superior to her sex as to be above jealousy,
she disliked him the more for his adoration of Amelia.
she was very respectful and cordial in her manner towards him.
A friend to the Osbornes!
a friend to her dearest benefactors!
She vowed she should always love him sincerely: she remembered him quite well on the Vauxhall night,
as she told Amelia archly,
and she made a little fun of him when the two ladies went to dress for dinner.
Rawdon Crawley paid scarcely any attention to Dobbin,
looking upon him as a good-natured nincompoop and under-bred City man.
Jos patronised him with much dignity.
When George and Dobbin were alone in the latter's room,
to which George had followed him,
Dobbin took from his desk the letter which he had been charged by Mr. Osborne to deliver to his son.
"It's not in my father's handwriting,"
looking rather alarmed;
nor was it: the letter was from Mr. Osborne's lawyer,
and to the following effect:
"I am commissioned by Mr. Osborne to inform you,
that he abides by the determination which he before expressed to you,
and that in consequence of the marriage which you have been pleased to contract,
he ceases to consider you henceforth as a member of his family.
This determination is final and irrevocable.
"Although the monies expended upon you in your minority,
and the bills which you have drawn upon him so unsparingly of late years,
far exceed in amount the sum to which you are entitled in your own right (being the third part of the fortune of your mother,
the late Mrs. Osborne and which reverted to you at her decease,
and to Miss Jane Osborne and Miss Maria Frances Osborne);
yet I am instructed by Mr. Osborne to say,
that he waives all claim upon your estate,
and that the sum of 2,000 pounds,
4 per cent.
at the value of the day (being your one-third share of the sum of 6,000 pounds),
shall be paid over to yourself or your agents upon your receipt for the same,
"Your obedient Servt.,
--Mr. Osborne desires me to say,
once for all,
that he declines to receive any messages,
or communications from you on this or any other subject.
"A pretty way you have managed the affair,"
looking savagely at William Dobbin.
and he flung over to the latter his parent's letter.
and all in consequence of my d --d sentimentality.
Why couldn't we have waited?
A ball might have done for me in the course of the war,
and may still,
and how will Emmy be bettered by being left a beggar's widow?
It was all your doing.
You were never easy until you had got me married and ruined.
What the deuce am I to do with two thousand pounds?
Such a sum won't last two years.
I've lost a hundred and forty to Crawley at cards and billiards since I've been down here.
A pretty manager of a man's matters YOU are,
"There's no denying that the position is a hard one,"
after reading over the letter with a blank countenance;
"and as you say,
it is partly of my making.
There are some men who wouldn't mind changing with you,"
with a bitter smile.
"How many captains in the regiment have two thousand pounds to the fore,
You must live on your pay till your father relents,
and if you die,
you leave your wife a hundred a year."
"Do you suppose a man of my habits can live on his pay and a hundred a year?"
George cried out in great anger.
"You must be a fool to talk so,
How the deuce am I to keep up my position in the world upon such a pitiful pittance?
I can't change my habits.
I must have my comforts.
I wasn't brought up on porridge,
or on potatoes,
like old O'Dowd.
Do you expect my wife to take in soldiers' washing,
or ride after the regiment in a baggage waggon?"
"we'll get her a better conveyance.
But try and remember that you are only a dethroned prince now,
and be quiet whilst the tempest lasts.
It won't be for long.
Let your name be mentioned in the Gazette,
and I'll engage the old father relents towards you:"
"Mentioned in the Gazette!"
"And in what part of it?
Among the killed and wounded returns,
and at the top of the list,
It will be time enough to cry out when we are hurt,"
"And if anything happens,
I have got a little,
and I am not a marrying man,
and I shall not forget my godson in my will,"
with a smile.
Whereupon the dispute ended --as many scores of such conversations between Osborne and his friend had concluded previously --by the former declaring there was no possibility of being angry with Dobbin long,
and forgiving him very generously after abusing him without cause.
cried Rawdon Crawley out of his dressing-room,
to his lady,
who was attiring herself for dinner in her own chamber.
said Becky's shrill voice.
She was looking over her shoulder in the glass.
She had put on the neatest and freshest white frock imaginable,
and with bare shoulders and a little necklace,
and a light blue sash,
she looked the image of youthful innocence and girlish happiness.
what'll Mrs. O. do,
when O. goes out with the regiment?"
Crawley said coming into the room,
performing a duet on his head with two huge hair-brushes,
and looking out from under his hair with admiration on his pretty little wife.
"I suppose she'll cry her eyes out,"
"She has been whimpering half a dozen times,
at the very notion of it,
already to me."
"YOU don't care,
half angry at his wife's want of feeling.
don't you know that I intend to go with you,"
You go as General Tufto's aide-de-camp.
We don't belong to the line,"
Mrs. Crawley said,
throwing up her head with an air that so enchanted her husband that he stooped down and kissed it.
"Rawdon dear --don't you think --you'd better get that --money from Cupid,
before he goes?"
fixing on a killing bow.
She called George Osborne,
She had flattered him about his good looks a score of times already.
She watched over him kindly at ecarte of a night when he would drop in to Rawdon's quarters for a half-hour before bed-time.
She had often called him a horrid dissipated wretch,
and threatened to tell Emmy of his wicked ways and naughty extravagant habits.
She brought his cigar and lighted it for him;
she knew the effect of that manoeuvre,
having practised it in former days upon Rawdon Crawley.
He thought her gay,
In their little drives and dinners,
quite outshone poor Emmy,
who remained very mute and timid while Mrs. Crawley and her husband rattled away together,
and Captain Crawley (and Jos after he joined the young married people) gobbled in silence.
Emmy's mind somehow misgave her about her friend.
and accomplishments troubled her with a rueful disquiet.
They were only a week married,
and here was George already suffering ennui,
and eager for others' society!
She trembled for the future.
How shall I be a companion for him,
she thought --so clever and so brilliant,
and I such a humble foolish creature?
How noble it was of him to marry me --to give up everything and stoop down to me!
I ought to have refused him,
only I had not the heart.
I ought to have stopped at home and taken care of poor Papa.
And her neglect of her parents (and indeed there was some foundation for this charge which the poor child's uneasy conscience brought against her) was now remembered for the first time,
and caused her to blush with humiliation.
I have been very wicked and selfish --selfish in forgetting them in their sorrows --selfish in forcing George to marry me.
I know I'm not worthy of him --I know he would have been happy without me --and yet --I tried,
I tried to give him up.
It is hard when,
before seven days of marriage are over,
such thoughts and confessions as these force themselves on a little bride's mind.
But so it was,
and the night before Dobbin came to join these young people --on a fine brilliant moonlight night of May --so warm and balmy that the windows were flung open to the balcony,
from which George and Mrs. Crawley were gazing upon the calm ocean spread shining before them,
while Rawdon and Jos were engaged at backgammon within --Amelia couched in a great chair quite neglected,
and watching both these parties,
felt a despair and remorse such as were bitter companions for that tender lonely soul.
Scarce a week was past,
and it was come to this!
had she regarded it,
offered a dismal prospect;
but Emmy was too shy,
so to speak,
to look to that,
and embark alone on that wide sea,
and unfit to navigate it without a guide and protector.
I know Miss Smith has a mean opinion of her.
But how many,
my dear Madam,
are endowed with your prodigious strength of mind?
what a fine night,
and how bright the moon is!"
with a puff of his cigar,
which went soaring up skywards.
"How delicious they smell in the open air!
I adore them.
Who'd think the moon was two hundred and thirty-six thousand eight hundred and forty-seven miles off?"
gazing at that orb with a smile.
"Isn't it clever of me to remember that?
we learned it all at Miss Pinkerton's!
How calm the sea is,
and how clear everything.
I declare I can almost see the coast of France!"
and her bright green eyes streamed out,
and shot into the night as if they could see through it.
"Do you know what I intend to do one morning?"
"I find I can swim beautifully,
and some day,
when my Aunt Crawley's companion --old Briggs,
you know --you remember her --that hook-nosed woman,
with the long wisps of hair --when Briggs goes out to bathe,
I intend to dive under her awning,
and insist on a reconciliation in the water.
Isn't that a stratagem?"
George burst out laughing at the idea of this aquatic meeting.
"What's the row there,
Rawdon shouted out,
rattling the box.
Amelia was making a fool of herself in an absurd hysterical manner,
and retired to her own room to whimper in private.
Our history is destined in this chapter to go backwards and forwards in a very irresolute manner seemingly,
and having conducted our story to to-morrow presently,
we shall immediately again have occasion to step back to yesterday,
so that the whole of the tale may get a hearing.
As you behold at her Majesty's drawing-room,
the ambassadors' and high dignitaries' carriages whisk off from a private door,
while Captain Jones's ladies are waiting for their fly: as you see in the Secretary of the Treasury's antechamber,
a half-dozen of petitioners waiting patiently for their audience,
and called out one by one,
when suddenly an Irish member or some eminent personage enters the apartment,
and instantly walks into Mr. Under-Secretary over the heads of all the people present: so in the conduct of a tale,
the romancer is obliged to exercise this most partial sort of justice.
Although all the little incidents must be heard,
yet they must be put off when the great events make their appearance;
and surely such a circumstance as that which brought Dobbin to Brighton,
the ordering out of the Guards and the line to Belgium,
and the mustering of the allied armies in that country under the command of his Grace the Duke of Wellington --such a dignified circumstance as that,
was entitled to the pas over all minor occurrences whereof this history is composed mainly,
and hence a little trifling disarrangement and disorder was excusable and becoming.
We have only now advanced in time so far beyond Chapter XXII as to have got our various characters up into their dressing-rooms before the dinner,
which took place as usual on the day of Dobbin's arrival.
George was too humane or too much occupied with the tie of his neckcloth to convey at once all the news to Amelia which his comrade had brought with him from London.
He came into her room,
holding the attorney's letter in his hand,
and with so solemn and important an air that his wife,
always ingeniously on the watch for calamity,
thought the worst was about to befall,
and running up to her husband,
besought her dearest George to tell her everything --he was ordered abroad;
there would be a battle next week --she knew there would.
Dearest George parried the question about foreign service,
and with a melancholy shake of the head said,
it isn't that: it's not myself I care about: it's you.
I have had bad news from my father.
He refuses any communication with me;
he has flung us off;
and leaves us to poverty.
I can rough it well enough;
how will you bear it?
And he handed her over the letter.
with a look of tender alarm in her eyes,
listened to her noble hero as he uttered the above generous sentiments,
and sitting down on the bed,
read the letter which George gave her with such a pompous martyr-like air.
Her face cleared up as she read the document,
The idea of sharing poverty and privation in company with the beloved object is,
as we have before said,
far from being disagreeable to a warm-hearted woman.
The notion was actually pleasant to little Amelia.
she was ashamed of herself for feeling happy at such an indecorous moment,
and checked her pleasure,
how your poor heart must bleed at the idea of being separated from your papa!"
with an agonised countenance.
"But he can't be angry with you long,"
He must forgive you,
I shall never forgive myself if he does not."
"What vexes me,
my poor Emmy,
is not my misfortune,
"I don't care for a little poverty;
and I think,
I've talents enough to make my own way."
"That you have,"
interposed his wife,
who thought that war should cease,
and her husband should be made a general instantly.
I shall make my way as well as another,"
Osborne went on;
my dear girl,
how can I bear your being deprived of the comforts and station in society which my wife had a right to expect?
My dearest girl in barracks;
the wife of a soldier in a marching regiment;
subject to all sorts of annoyance and privation!
It makes me miserable."
quite at ease,
as this was her husband's only cause of disquiet,
took his hand,
and with a radiant face and smile began to warble that stanza from the favourite song of "Wapping Old Stairs,"
in which the heroine,
after rebuking her Tom for inattention,
promises "his trousers to mend,
and his grog too to make,"
if he will be constant and kind,
and not forsake her.
after a pause,
during which she looked as pretty and happy as any young woman need,
"isn't two thousand pounds an immense deal of money,
George laughed at her naivete;
and finally they went down to dinner,
Amelia clinging to George's arm,
still warbling the tune of "Wapping Old Stairs,"
and more pleased and light of mind than she had been for some days past.
Thus the repast,
which at length came off,
instead of being dismal,
was an exceedingly brisk and merry one.
The excitement of the campaign counteracted in George's mind the depression occasioned by the disinheriting letter.
Dobbin still kept up his character of rattle.
He amused the company with accounts of the army in Belgium;
where nothing but fetes and gaiety and fashion were going on.
having a particular end in view,
this dexterous captain proceeded to describe Mrs. Major O'Dowd packing her own and her Major's wardrobe,
and how his best epaulets had been stowed into a tea canister,
whilst her own famous yellow turban,
with the bird of paradise wrapped in brown paper,
was locked up in the Major's tin cocked-hat case,
and wondered what effect it would have at the French king's court at Ghent,
or the great military balls at Brussels.
cried out Amelia with a sudden shock and start.
"Is the regiment ordered away,
George --is it ordered away?"
A look of terror came over the sweet smiling face,
and she clung to George as by an instinct.
"Don't be afraid,
he said good-naturedly;
"it is but a twelve hours' passage.
It won't hurt you.
You shall go,
"I intend to go,"
"I'm on the staff.
General Tufto is a great flirt of mine.
Rawdon laughed out with his usual roar.
William Dobbin flushed up quite red.
"She can't go,"
"think of the --of the danger,"
he was going to add;
but had not all his conversation during dinner-time tended to prove there was none?
He became very confused and silent.
"I must and will go,"
Amelia cried with the greatest spirit;
applauding her resolution,
patted her under the chin,
and asked all the persons present if they ever saw such a termagant of a wife,
and agreed that the lady should bear him company.
"We'll have Mrs. O'Dowd to chaperon you,"
What cared she so long as her husband was near her?
Thus somehow the bitterness of a parting was juggled away.
Though war and danger were in store,
war and danger might not befall for months to come.
There was a respite at any rate,
which made the timid little Amelia almost as happy as a full reprieve would have done,
and which even Dobbin owned in his heart was very welcome.
to be permitted to see her was now the greatest privilege and hope of his life,
and he thought with himself secretly how he would watch and protect her.
I wouldn't have let her go if I had been married to her,
But George was the master,
and his friend did not think fit to remonstrate.
Putting her arm round her friend's waist,
Rebecca at length carried Amelia off from the dinner-table where so much business of importance had been discussed,
and left the gentlemen in a highly exhilarated state,
drinking and talking very gaily.
In the course of the evening Rawdon got a little family-note from his wife,
although he crumpled it up and burnt it instantly in the candle,
we had the good luck to read over Rebecca's shoulder.
"Mrs. Bute is gone.
Get the money from Cupid tonight,
as he'll be off to-morrow most likely.
So when the little company was about adjourning to coffee in the women's apartment,
Rawdon touched Osborne on the elbow,
and said gracefully,
if quite convenient,
I'll trouble you for that
'ere small trifle."
It was not quite convenient,
but nevertheless George gave him a considerable present instalment in bank-notes from his pocket-book,
and a bill on his agents at a week's date,
for the remaining sum.
This matter arranged,
held a council of war over their cigars,
and agreed that a general move should be made for London in Jos's open carriage the next day.
would have preferred staying until Rawdon Crawley quitted Brighton,
but Dobbin and George overruled him,
and he agreed to carry the party to town,
and ordered four horses,
as became his dignity.
With these they set off in state,
the next day.
Amelia had risen very early in the morning,
and packed her little trunks with the greatest alacrity,
while Osborne lay in bed deploring that she had not a maid to help her.
She was only too glad,
to perform this office for herself.
A dim uneasy sentiment about Rebecca filled her mind already;
and although they kissed each other most tenderly at parting,
yet we know what jealousy is;
and Mrs. Amelia possessed that among other virtues of her sex.
Besides these characters who are coming and going away,
we must remember that there were some other old friends of ours at Brighton;
and the suite in attendance upon her.
although Rebecca and her husband were but at a few stones' throw of the lodgings which the invalid Miss Crawley occupied,
the old lady's door remained as pitilessly closed to them as it had been heretofore in London.
As long as she remained by the side of her sister-in-law,
Mrs. Bute Crawley took care that her beloved Matilda should not be agitated by a meeting with her nephew.
When the spinster took her drive,
the faithful Mrs. Bute sate beside her in the carriage.
When Miss Crawley took the air in a chair,
Mrs. Bute marched on one side of the vehicle,
whilst honest Briggs occupied the other wing.
And if they met Rawdon and his wife by chance --although the former constantly and obsequiously took off his hat,
the Miss-Crawley party passed him by with such a frigid and killing indifference,
that Rawdon began to despair.
"We might as well be in London as here,"
Captain Rawdon often said,
with a downcast air.
"A comfortable inn in Brighton is better than a spunging-house in Chancery Lane,"
his wife answered,
who was of a more cheerful temperament.
"Think of those two aides-de-camp of Mr. Moses,
who watched our lodging for a week.
Our friends here are very stupid,
but Mr. Jos and Captain Cupid are better companions than Mr. Moses's men,
"I wonder the writs haven't followed me down here,"
"When they do,
we'll find means to give them the slip,"
said dauntless little Becky,
and further pointed out to her husband the great comfort and advantage of meeting Jos and Osborne,
whose acquaintance had brought to Rawdon Crawley a most timely little supply of ready money.
"It will hardly be enough to pay the inn bill,"
grumbled the Guardsman.
"Why need we pay it?"
said the lady,
who had an answer for everything.
Through Rawdon's valet,
who still kept up a trifling acquaintance with the male inhabitants of Miss Crawley's servants' hall,
and was instructed to treat the coachman to drink whenever they met,
old Miss Crawley's movements were pretty well known by our young couple;
and Rebecca luckily bethought herself of being unwell,
and of calling in the same apothecary who was in attendance upon the spinster,
so that their information was on the whole tolerably complete.
Nor was Miss Briggs,
although forced to adopt a hostile attitude,
secretly inimical to Rawdon and his wife.
She was naturally of a kindly and forgiving disposition.
Now that the cause of jealousy was removed,
her dislike for Rebecca disappeared also,
and she remembered the latter's invariable good words and good humour.
she and Mrs. Firkin,
and the whole of Miss Crawley's household,
groaned under the tyranny of the triumphant Mrs. Bute.
As often will be the case,
that good but imperious woman pushed her advantages too far,
and her successes quite unmercifully.
She had in the course of a few weeks brought the invalid to such a state of helpless docility,
that the poor soul yielded herself entirely to her sister's orders,
and did not even dare to complain of her slavery to Briggs or Firkin.
Mrs. Bute measured out the glasses of wine which Miss Crawley was daily allowed to take,
with irresistible accuracy,
greatly to the annoyance of Firkin and the butler,
who found themselves deprived of control over even the sherry-bottle.
She apportioned the sweetbreads,
their quantity and order.
Night and noon and morning she brought the abominable drinks ordained by the Doctor,
and made her patient swallow them with so affecting an obedience that Firkin said "my poor Missus du take her physic like a lamb."
She prescribed the drive in the carriage or the ride in the chair,
in a word,
ground down the old lady in her convalescence in such a way as only belongs to your proper-managing,
motherly moral woman.
If ever the patient faintly resisted,
and pleaded for a little bit more dinner or a little drop less medicine,
the nurse threatened her with instantaneous death,
when Miss Crawley instantly gave in.
"She's no spirit left in her,"
Firkin remarked to Briggs;
"she ain't ave called me a fool these three weeks."
Mrs. Bute had made up her mind to dismiss the aforesaid honest lady's-maid,
Mr. Bowls the large confidential man,
and Briggs herself,
and to send for her daughters from the Rectory,
previous to removing the dear invalid bodily to Queen's Crawley,
when an odious accident happened which called her away from duties so pleasing.
The Reverend Bute Crawley,
riding home one night,
fell with his horse and broke his collar-bone.
Fever and inflammatory symptoms set in,
and Mrs. Bute was forced to leave Sussex for Hampshire.
As soon as ever Bute was restored,
she promised to return to her dearest friend,
leaving the strongest injunctions with the household regarding their behaviour to their mistress;
and as soon as she got into the Southampton coach,
there was such a jubilee and sense of relief in all Miss Crawley's house,
as the company of persons assembled there had not experienced for many a week before.
That very day Miss Crawley left off her afternoon dose of medicine: that afternoon Bowls opened an independent bottle of sherry for himself and Mrs. Firkin: that night Miss Crawley and Miss Briggs indulged in a game of piquet instead of one of Porteus's sermons.
It was as in the old nursery-story,
when the stick forgot to beat the dog,
and the whole course of events underwent a peaceful and happy revolution.
At a very early hour in the morning,
twice or thrice a week,
Miss Briggs used to betake herself to a bathing-machine,
and disport in the water in a flannel gown and an oilskin cap.
as we have seen,
was aware of this circumstance,
and though she did not attempt to storm Briggs as she had threatened,
and actually dive into that lady's presence and surprise her under the sacredness of the awning,
Mrs. Rawdon determined to attack Briggs as she came away from her bath,
refreshed and invigorated by her dip,
and likely to be in good humour.
So getting up very early the next morning,
Becky brought the telescope in their sitting-room,
which faced the sea,
to bear upon the bathing-machines on the beach;
saw Briggs arrive,
enter her box;
and put out to sea;
and was on the shore just as the nymph of whom she came in quest stepped out of the little caravan on to the shingles.
It was a pretty picture: the beach;
the bathing-women's faces;
the long line of rocks and building were blushing and bright in the sunshine.
Rebecca wore a kind,
tender smile on her face,
and was holding out her pretty white hand as Briggs emerged from the box.
What could Briggs do but accept the salutation?
"Miss Sh --Mrs. Crawley,"
Mrs. Crawley seized her hand,
pressed it to her heart,
and with a sudden impulse,
flinging her arms round Briggs,
kissed her affectionately.
with a touch of such natural feeling,
that Miss Briggs of course at once began to melt,
and even the bathing-woman was mollified.
Rebecca found no difficulty in engaging Briggs in a long,
and delightful conversation.
Everything that had passed since the morning of Becky's sudden departure from Miss Crawley's house in Park Lane up to the present day,
and Mrs. Bute's happy retreat,
was discussed and described by Briggs.
All Miss Crawley's symptoms,
and the particulars of her illness and medical treatment,
were narrated by the confidante with that fulness and accuracy which women delight in.
About their complaints and their doctors do ladies ever tire of talking to each other?
Briggs did not on this occasion;
nor did Rebecca weary of listening.
She was thankful,
that the dear kind Briggs,
that the faithful,
the invaluable Firkin,
had been permitted to remain with their benefactress through her illness.
Heaven bless her!
had seemed to act undutifully towards Miss Crawley;
yet was not her fault a natural and excusable one?
Could she help giving her hand to the man who had won her heart?
could only turn up her eyes to heaven at this appeal,
and heave a sympathetic sigh,
and think that she,
had given away her affections long years ago,
and own that Rebecca was no very great criminal.
"Can I ever forget her who so befriended the friendless orphan?
though she has cast me off,"
the latter said,
"I shall never cease to love her,
and I would devote my life to her service.
As my own benefactress,
as my beloved Rawdon's adored relative,
I love and admire Miss Crawley,
dear Miss Briggs,
beyond any woman in the world,
and next to her I love all those who are faithful to her.
I would never have treated Miss Crawley's faithful friends as that odious designing Mrs. Bute has done.
who was all heart,"
"although his outward manners might seem rough and careless,
had said a hundred times,
with tears in his eyes,
that he blessed Heaven for sending his dearest Aunty two such admirable nurses as her attached Firkin and her admirable Miss Briggs.
Should the machinations of the horrible Mrs. Bute end,
as she too much feared they would,
in banishing everybody that Miss Crawley loved from her side,
and leaving that poor lady a victim to those harpies at the Rectory,
Rebecca besought her (Miss Briggs) to remember that her own home,
humble as it was,
was always open to receive Briggs.
in a transport of enthusiasm,
"some hearts can never forget benefits;
all women are not Bute Crawleys!
Though why should I complain of her,"
"though I have been her tool and the victim to her arts,
do I not owe my dearest Rawdon to her?"
And Rebecca unfolded to Briggs all Mrs. Bute's conduct at Queen's Crawley,
though unintelligible to her then,
was clearly enough explained by the events now --now that the attachment had sprung up which Mrs. Bute had encouraged by a thousand artifices --now that two innocent people had fallen into the snares which she had laid for them,
and loved and married and been ruined through her schemes.
It was all very true.
Briggs saw the stratagems as clearly as possible.
Mrs. Bute had made the match between Rawdon and Rebecca.
though the latter was a perfectly innocent victim,
Miss Briggs could not disguise from her friend her fear that Miss Crawley's affections were hopelessly estranged from Rebecca,
and that the old lady would never forgive her nephew for making so imprudent a marriage.
On this point Rebecca had her own opinion,
and still kept up a good heart.
If Miss Crawley did not forgive them at present,
she might at least relent on a future day.
there was only that puling,
sickly Pitt Crawley between Rawdon and a baronetcy;
and should anything happen to the former,
all would be well.
At all events,
to have Mrs. Bute's designs exposed,
and herself well abused,
was a satisfaction,
and might be advantageous to Rawdon's interest;
after an hour's chat with her recovered friend,
left her with the most tender demonstrations of regard,
and quite assured that the conversation they had had together would be reported to Miss Crawley before many hours were over.
This interview ended,
it became full time for Rebecca to return to her inn,
where all the party of the previous day were assembled at a farewell breakfast.
Rebecca took such a tender leave of Amelia as became two women who loved each other as sisters;
and having used her handkerchief plentifully,
and hung on her friend's neck as if they were parting for ever,
and waved the handkerchief (which was quite dry,
by the way) out of window,
as the carriage drove off,
she came back to the breakfast table,
and ate some prawns with a good deal of appetite,
considering her emotion;
and while she was munching these delicacies,
explained to Rawdon what had occurred in her morning walk between herself and Briggs.
Her hopes were very high: she made her husband share them.
She generally succeeded in making her husband share all her opinions,
whether melancholy or cheerful.
"You will now,
if you please,
sit down at the writing-table and pen me a pretty little letter to Miss Crawley,
in which you'll say that you are a good boy,
and that sort of thing."
So Rawdon sate down,
and wrote off,
and "My dear Aunt,"
with great rapidity: but there the gallant officer's imagination failed him.
He mumbled the end of his pen,
and looked up in his wife's face.
She could not help laughing at his rueful countenance,
and marching up and down the room with her hands behind her,
the little woman began to dictate a letter,
which he took down.
"Before quitting the country and commencing a campaign,
which very possibly may be fatal."
but took the humour of the phrase,
and presently wrote it down with a grin.
"Which very possibly may be fatal,
I have come hither --"
"Why not say come here,
Come here's grammar,"
the dragoon interposed.
"I have come hither,"
with a stamp of her foot,
"to say farewell to my dearest and earliest friend.
I beseech you before I go,
not perhaps to return,
once more to let me press the hand from which I have received nothing but kindnesses all my life."
"Kindnesses all my life,"
scratching down the words,
and quite amazed at his own facility of composition.
"I ask nothing from you but that we should part not in anger.
I have the pride of my family on some points,
though not on all.
I married a painter's daughter,
and am not ashamed of the union."
run me through the body if I am!"
"You old booby,"
pinching his ear and looking over to see that he made no mistakes in spelling --"beseech is not spelt with an a,
and earliest is."
So he altered these words,
bowing to the superior knowledge of his little Missis.
"I thought that you were aware of the progress of my attachment,"
"I knew that Mrs. Bute Crawley confirmed and encouraged it.
But I make no reproaches.
I married a poor woman,
and am content to abide by what I have done.
Leave your property,
as you will.
I shall never complain of the way in which you dispose of it.
I would have you believe that I love you for yourself,
and not for money's sake.
I want to be reconciled to you ere I leave England.
let me see you before I go.
A few weeks or months hence it may be too late,
and I cannot bear the notion of quitting the country without a kind word of farewell from you."
"She won't recognise my style in that,"
"I made the sentences short and brisk on purpose."
And this authentic missive was despatched under cover to Miss Briggs.
Old Miss Crawley laughed when Briggs,
with great mystery,
handed her over this candid and simple statement.
"We may read it now Mrs. Bute is away,"
"Read it to me,
When Briggs had read the epistle out,
her patroness laughed more.
"Don't you see,
she said to Briggs,
who professed to be much touched by the honest affection which pervaded the composition,
"don't you see that Rawdon never wrote a word of it.
He never wrote to me without asking for money in his life,
and all his letters are full of bad spelling,
and bad grammar.
It is that little serpent of a governess who rules him."
They are all alike,
Miss Crawley thought in her heart.
They all want me dead,
and are hankering for my money.
"I don't mind seeing Rawdon,"
after a pause,
and in a tone of perfect indifference.
"I had just as soon shake hands with him as not.
Provided there is no scene,
why shouldn't we meet?
I don't mind.
But human patience has its limits;
I respectfully decline to receive Mrs. Rawdon --I can't support that quite" --and Miss Briggs was fain to be content with this half-message of conciliation;
and thought that the best method of bringing the old lady and her nephew together,
was to warn Rawdon to be in waiting on the Cliff,
when Miss Crawley went out for her air in her chair.
There they met.
I don't know whether Miss Crawley had any private feeling of regard or emotion upon seeing her old favourite;
but she held out a couple of fingers to him with as smiling and good-humoured an air,
as if they had met only the day before.
And as for Rawdon,
he turned as red as scarlet,
and wrung off Briggs's hand,
so great was his rapture and his confusion at the meeting.
Perhaps it was interest that moved him: or perhaps affection: perhaps he was touched by the change which the illness of the last weeks had wrought in his aunt.
"The old girl has always acted like a trump to me,"
he said to his wife,
as he narrated the interview,
"and I felt,
and that sort of thing.
I walked by the side of the what-dy'e-call-'em,
and to her own door,
where Bowls came to help her in.
And I wanted to go in very much,
"YOU DIDN'T GO IN,
screamed his wife.
I'm hanged if I wasn't afraid when it came to the point."
you ought to have gone in,
and never come out again,"
"Don't call me names,"
said the big Guardsman,
"Perhaps I WAS a fool,
but you shouldn't say so";
and he gave his wife a look,
such as his countenance could wear when angered,
and such as was not pleasant to face.
to-morrow you must be on the look-out,
and go and see her,
whether she asks you or no,"
trying to soothe her angry yoke-mate.
On which he replied,
that he would do exactly as he liked,
and would just thank her to keep a civil tongue in her head --and the wounded husband went away,
and passed the forenoon at the billiard-room,
But before the night was over he was compelled to give in,
to his wife's superior prudence and foresight,
by the most melancholy confirmation of the presentiments which she had regarding the consequences of the mistake which he had made.
Miss Crawley must have had some emotion upon seeing him and shaking hands with him after so long a rupture.
She mused upon the meeting a considerable time.
"Rawdon is getting very fat and old,
she said to her companion.
"His nose has become red,
and he is exceedingly coarse in appearance.
His marriage to that woman has hopelessly vulgarised him.
Mrs. Bute always said they drank together;
and I have no doubt they do.
Yes: he smelt of gin abominably.
I remarked it.
In vain Briggs interposed that Mrs. Bute spoke ill of everybody: and,
as far as a person in her humble position could judge,
was an --
"An artful designing woman?
so she is,
and she does speak ill of every one --but I am certain that woman has made Rawdon drink.
All those low people do --"
"He was very much affected at seeing you,
the companion said;
"and I am sure,
when you remember that he is going to the field of danger --"
"How much money has he promised you,
the old spinster cried out,
working herself into a nervous rage --"there now,
of course you begin to cry.
I hate scenes.
Why am I always to be worried?
Go and cry up in your own room,
and send Firkin to me --no,
sit down and blow your nose,
and leave off crying,
and write a letter to Captain Crawley."
Poor Briggs went and placed herself obediently at the writing-book.
Its leaves were blotted all over with relics of the firm,
rapid handwriting of the spinster's late amanuensis,
Mrs. Bute Crawley.
'My dear sir,'
that will be better,
and say you are desired by Miss Crawley --no,
by Miss Crawley's medical man,
by Mr. Creamer,
to state that my health is such that all strong emotions would be dangerous in my present delicate condition --and that I must decline any family discussions or interviews whatever.
And thank him for coming to Brighton,
and so forth,
and beg him not to stay any longer on my account.
you may add that I wish him a bon voyage,
and that if he will take the trouble to call upon my lawyer's in Gray's Inn Square,
he will find there a communication for him.
that will do;
and that will make him leave Brighton."
The benevolent Briggs penned this sentence with the utmost satisfaction.
"To seize upon me the very day after Mrs. Bute was gone,"
the old lady prattled on;
"it was too indecent.
write to Mrs. Crawley,
and say SHE needn't come back.
No --she needn't --and she shan't --and I won't be a slave in my own house --and I won't be starved and choked with poison.
They all want to kill me --all --all" --and with this the lonely old woman burst into a scream of hysterical tears.
The last scene of her dismal Vanity Fair comedy was fast approaching;
the tawdry lamps were going out one by one;
and the dark curtain was almost ready to descend.
That final paragraph,
which referred Rawdon to Miss Crawley's solicitor in London,
and which Briggs had written so good-naturedly,
consoled the dragoon and his wife somewhat,
after their first blank disappointment,
on reading the spinster's refusal of a reconciliation.
And it effected the purpose for which the old lady had caused it to be written,
by making Rawdon very eager to get to London.
Out of Jos's losings and George Osborne's bank-notes,
he paid his bill at the inn,
the landlord whereof does not probably know to this day how doubtfully his account once stood.
as a general sends his baggage to the rear before an action,
Rebecca had wisely packed up all their chief valuables and sent them off under care of George's servant,
who went in charge of the trunks on the coach back to London.
Rawdon and his wife returned by the same conveyance next day.
"I should have liked to see the old girl before we went,"
"She looks so cut up and altered that I'm sure she can't last long.
I wonder what sort of a cheque I shall have at Waxy's.
Two hundred --it can't be less than two hundred --hey,
In consequence of the repeated visits of the aides-de-camp of the Sheriff of Middlesex,
Rawdon and his wife did not go back to their lodgings at Brompton,
but put up at an inn.
Early the next morning,
Rebecca had an opportunity of seeing them as she skirted that suburb on her road to old Mrs. Sedley's house at Fulham,
whither she went to look for her dear Amelia and her Brighton friends.
They were all off to Chatham,
thence to Harwich,
to take shipping for Belgium with the regiment --kind old Mrs. Sedley very much depressed and tearful,
Returning from this visit,
Rebecca found her husband,
who had been off to Gray's Inn,
and learnt his fate.
He came back furious.
"she's only given me twenty pound!"
Though it told against themselves,
the joke was too good,
and Becky burst out laughing at Rawdon's discomfiture.